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Devilish nails tap on the lacquered floor
Geisha lips begin to curl,
Celebrations stumble and fall.
Lost in a stupor
Floating lanterns forget their way.


Candles bid farewell
Diminish and quietly say
Goodnight.
Soon after
Birds lift their weary beaks
Tuning up for the day ahead.

Workers with wintered cheeks
Feel the drops of sake
Drip from morning after eyes.
The day ahead is long and hard,
But worth it all,
For they partied hard.




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Comments

The following comments are for "The Celebration"
by dianahayes

Nice
I love this. The intensity and ambiguosity of the idea behind the work keeps my eyes attached to each word until, at last the white faced ladies and weary peasants enjoying thier dances vanish from my mind, and alas, reality strikes back.

My only critique is the double use of the word "hard" in almost consecutive lines. Art is personal, and I have no place to change your art, but I believe this poem could endure for ages with a switch of one word. However, it can endure for ages because of its beauty anyway.

Kudos.

( Posted by: roach [Member] On: October 10, 2009 )





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