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Its midnight now
Lanterns shinning amber haloes on the street
Its four hours since the last look of light
And the path in the forest lets me by

Silent and alert; the crackling echo
of leaves under
The Trees stand reaped and bared in preparation
They seem to know the future better than i
As i look down , covering more ground with every stride
I think of the things that bought me out
at this time of night.

For every pleasure there's a Price

Seems the trees know it better than i
and wear the ruins of the years gone by
The ancient world that to the creatures of my kind was denied
A human: I stand between their nature and gods' and mine

But there my home
The lights are warm inside
Whatever possessed my fears is far behind.
I have my reward and all is fine.
Im just wondering if its the way i came

Or the road I've always been on.

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The following comments are for "Even for a little while"
by Shaza89

"the last look of light"
as I may have said before, I'm a sucker for skilful alliteration, and this fine example has whet my appetite from the start...

find a truly stellar metaphor too in the trees wearing the ruins of the bygone year, really good stuff this, and helps create the mood of a dark fairy-tale, a brooding presence, something ominous, waiting. I read in this an exploration in to poet-self’s nature, attracted to the dark but not sure why, afraid of what she’ll find inside herself but compelled to go on nonetheless… am I close?

either way, I much enjoyed this. I know I usually offer advice for restructuring, but here, in this atmospheric piece, your raw style has found a natural home… I read the longer enjambed lines like a groping along in the dark, a feeling the way, exploring, unknowing… scary, but exciting. thanks for this.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: October 26, 2008 )

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