Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

I Awake covered in a glossy film. Arm is firm and the feeling of the pulling of my hairs. Tunnel of thoughts racing as I panic inside. Temperature and my face thicken with blood as I panic and over heat. Screaming my thoughts and creating wavelengths inside deeply. Open my mouth to scream, only a whisper. I suddenly with all my strength break the film from holding me on the metal examination table. Ripping the needle from my wrist, my chest and my right leg, I sit up inhale deeply to smell formaldehyde. My thoughts race thousands a second. What is happening? How did I get here? Seconds pass and novels have processed. On my right is a man with ink pen s stuck in both his wrist and scissors in his chest. On my left is a half naked female lying on the ground blue as if she suffocated. De strapping the restraints from my ankles and tearing the film from my legs I turn to stand. I felt the blood rush to my toes and my body turned what we call “Asleep” as kids. Three minutes as I massage the tingles away. The smell worsens. I need oxygen I tell myself. The floor is cold and I walk to exit the glass enclosed room. A man with his neck slit and a pool of blood lies on a computer desk. What massacre has happened? Who and how did this happen? An older gentleman against the wall appears to be breathing with needles in back. I turn him over and ask who did this and what happened? He stared at me for ten seconds with his watery eyes and suddenly his pupils enlarged; He flew backwards against the wall screaming. Screaming loudly and incredibly louder to where his voice turned mono static. When he pushed backwards to the wall the needles dug deeper into his back. Blood was drooling from his mouth and he whispered “you did”. My heart drooped and I saddened, my head started pounding, heart racing and racing, I fainted. A loud banging on the main metal door to the room woke me back up. Police, Police, We know you’re in there. Next to me was a scalpel. Flashing before me was my child hood, my life, traveling backwards from only the happy memories and nothing negative. The air thickens and breathing was heavy. Blood was everywhere and I slowly fell to the floor. Five seconds later my heart seized and silence grew thick. For the first time in my life I have never felt when my heart was never beating. Darkness.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Cold Room"
by NucleusFire

hellraiser memories...
Wow...what can I say? This is like something from the movie series of "Hellraiser"...creepy as hell, and straight from a nightmare. Also, made me think of someone waking or coming out of a past life regression session or dream memory. Either way, it was too much for me to read at this time of night, not during the witching hour of almost 3 in the morning here....creeeepy, BUT....darn good writing and spellbinding in that it gripped me and made me read it to the end wanting to know what would happen next.

Good write.

Namaste,
Lena

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: October 12, 2008 )

response to 'cold room'
The pulse races on hearing of a bare naked body, blood, blood and the, ''be breathing''; backwards-backwards; ''his heart was never beating''. Yes-blood anywhere and everyhere- bloody cold room. Interesting. Could be improved upon if there was less tell and more show, however difficult, through an escape mechanism two-thirds the way through? I agree, direct images as rivoting as ''Hellraiser...''- Lena. Re-write- NucleusFire?

firstedition

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: October 24, 2008 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: