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--Interviewer-- In all candor, Governor Palin. . .do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?

--Candidate-- Not all of them, Charlie. I mean, there are so many. After all, wasn't it just last week at the convention where I said that while standing on American soil we can actually see Russia? How scary is that?

--Interviewer-- Well then let me ask you this, Governor. Do you see the possibility of our going to war with Russia?

--Candidate-- Absolutely, Charlie. These people have just got to understand where the lines are drawn. I wasn't raised by a mother Pit Bull for nothing, y'know. If you come into my yard, you won't find me wearing lipstick. You'll find me wearing a goalie's mask and carrying a custom made hockey stick I call the Palin Dental Plan.
::
::
--Town Hall Questioner-- How do you feel about deregulation, Senator?

--Candidate-- Well, young man. . .I think if you check my record you'll find that I'm basically a lean, mean deregulation machine. And let me just add this. . .I did for deregulation as much--and probably far more- than the Governor of California has ever done for steroids. Now I don't know about you, but to me, that's a pretty impressive record.
::
::
--Moderator-- The next question goes to you, Governor Romney. Tell us what it is that you *don't* like about America.

--Candidate-- : Hey, Wolf. . .c'mon! What's not to like about it? I mean, (Candidate breaks into song) 'I like the Bronx in spring. . .how about you?' (Mellifluous strains continue as Candidate produces one of those magic appearing canes and begins hoofing with it) 'I like the Dorseys' swing. . .how about you?' (Having gotten none of the words right, and forgetting still more, the Candidate rips into the bridge by tapping the soles of his shoes with the cane as he dances) 'Ta-tah--ta-ta-ta-tah. . .there may be showers' (Pumping the cane with both hands extended in front of him, Candidate does the "shuffle-off") 'Ta-tah--ta-ta-ta-tah. . .they bring May flowers.' (Moderator raises a hand and motions to "cut" by sliding extended fingers across his throat.)

--Candidate-- In a minute, Wolf, but first the big finish. (still ad-libbing the lyrics.) 'Shar-ing straws at the soda shoppe,' (Candidate flips the cane under his arm and begins kick-stepping his way toward the stage right wing.) 'Sock hops until we drop. . .won't make the news, but I dig it. . .how about you?' (Candidate disappears behind a curtain twirling the cane with one hand while shaking the other high overhead. Moderator drops his forehead into one hand propped by an elbow resting on the table in front of him.)

--Moderator-- This, folks (Moderator seems briefly confused as to the active camera.) is why we in the media call it "silly season."
----

Such incredible naivete. And there is seemingly no embarrassment over it. Add to that the nauseating whiff of disingenuineness as it seeps through the fabric of grandiosity and you have the lower half of the 2008 Republican ticket making its bid for the White House. How in the world did we ever arrive at this point?

I have a suggestion. Perhaps Ms. Palin has spent too much time downwind of the vodka fumes drifting from Russia across the Aleutian Islands. When the person who, instead of saying "Thanks for your consideration but I'm really not qualified," says instead that she decided instantly to accept and as a result could become President of the United States if John McCain makes it that far, it's clear that our election system has not grown beyond the country's Moose hunting days back on the old frontier. You could have an Andrew Jackson and even a Teddy Roosevelt (although that was plenty iffy as well) back in the days before nuclear proliferation, but these days?. . .hold on to your hats.

It isn't a case of simple recklessness. It's much more than that. Please stay tuned.


------
Fritzwilliam


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