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Here is a bit more of the play.

Zonk Part two-

Adeline:
It just seemed a bit flowery - is all.

Joanna:
There were a lot of flowers. Hell- he would have died if he were alive to see it…

Ramsey:
Lavender and that white bridal crap…pink and …

Joanna:
…all covering everything. He was too much the mans man. All that frill and lace. ( Clucking) and him smelling of old spice.

Adeline:
You splashed that on him on purpose. You liked it. Still- when you see that many flowers it makes you feel that the man was loved.
(Long silence- then Joanna rolls) 800

Joanne:
It was such a waste. ( Rolls) 500

Adeline:
What went to waste?
(Takes the dice and pulls out a handkerchief from her purse -on the floor- wipes the dice off- then rolls.) 350

Joanne:
The flowers.
(Takes the dice and looks at a couple of them and shrugs. Rolls) 400

Adeline:
They didn't go to waste. I had them delivered to four different churches after the service. A lot of them were in pots…so they could be planted. (Rolls) zip!

Joanne:
Anyway…I thought the eulogy was too flowery. Things are true and things are true…if you know what I mean? You can say a truth and have it still be a lie in the speaking of it.

Adeline:
(Crosses herself!)
Sissy? What has got into you? The Bishop said nothing to have you say that. Mother Mary, I made sure. (Disturbed.) Do you think I would have the old Toot say anything that would hurt you or upset you?

(Joanne stands and walks over to the bar and pours two drinks.)

Oh dear, you are upset with me.

(Starts to weep. Takes out the handkerchief and wipes her eyes. Joanne sets down the jelly glass and gestures to her sister to drink.)

Both women:
(Loud Voices)
Mary, Mary, St. Michael, and Joseph
Bear the will and ire of our God-da
Mary, Mary, St. Michael and James
Thank you Lord for the Blessed Vod-ka
(Swig down the vodka)
Hee-Haw!

Joanne:
It was nonsense and you know it. (Sits) The stuff he spewed. (Rolls) I'll take 300. (Starts to laugh)

Ramsey:
Some of it was true. It wasn't all-bad given the circumstances. I believe he acted well enough.

Adeline:
Well…God blesses his hard seagoing heart. I have to say he could have done better by you. Now… don't get mad. (Crosses herself.) He wasn't all that. So I made him sound gallant and brave and heroic… instead of the ass he really was.

Ramsey:
(Yells)You old hypocrite. You certainly…. (Throws his hands up and sits back down.)

Joanne:
Roll! It's your turn. (Adeline rolls and picks up the dice and hands them to her sister.) Nothing! He was a good man in his way. (Rolls) 600

Adeline:
Yes… It was wrong of me to speak ill of him…speak ill of the dead. I'm so sorry, Sis, you haven't even had time to grieve. (Rolls) 700

Ramsey:
Most people have something between their minds and their mouths that does some type of editing… not that one. It would get in the way of her helping God in his work of judging folks.

Joanne:
You speak ill of everyone. (Rolls) Zip!

Adeline:
I'm shocked. That would be a sin. (Pause) Occasionally I may mention that someone may be behaving in a manner that …well…is contrary to the way and manner of a good Christian. Of course, a heathen is a heathen. (Rolls) 350

Ramsey:
She's talking about me.

Joanne:
…Never to their faces. (Rolls) 400. You go to confession three times a week. What sins can a woman of your age be guilty of. Not sex…your she-canal is a dust bucket…

Adeline:
My lord, Sister! (Outraged stands and walks over to the bar and brings the bottle to the table. Speaks with dripping sarcasm.) I see that this is going to be one of those tell the truth games. I'll need some fornication… oh lord ( Covers her mouth - Joanne laughs)…I mean fortification. (Pause and sighs) Lord forgive my evil mind. Blesss me if not one day goes by that I don't think about doing it. Sister, I'm not as strong as you are. The spirit is strong but the flesh is weak.

Joanne:
Bring the spirirts Sis as I pray! …Dear Lord, I am heartedly sorry for all the sins that I notice other people are committing around me. I know, Lord, that they are not going to tell you… so I will tell you as a moral public service. And as an aside- forgive me my lurid thoughts and hypocritical actions. Amen.


Adeline:
(Glares, pours the drinks and sits.) Very funny. I still do require a mans attention on occasion. A little lub fixes the old dust bin. I know it's a sin but Mother Mary understands women of a certain age.
I'm sure that God will forgive you, Sis, your nasty tongue. It wouldn't hurt you to go to church…and I do pray for you all the time and I will continue to do so, in spite of your sarcasm. (Crosses herself.) You never know when He will call you home. Look at poor Ramsey… poof, just like that. I fear for his soul.
(Pours more booze)

Ramsey:
Me to…I still hear you talking…. What kind of God are you!
(Looks up with false piety.)

Both women:
(Toasts)
Hail Mary M. We ask from our hearts within
Our backbones are getting paper thin
From the weight of careless and stupid men
Can having a drink our three really be a sin
Amen
( Both Swig) Hee haw

Ramsey:
Dear God…sophistry was invented by women.

Joanne:
Why? Roll!

Adeline:
Why what? 550

Joanne:
Why do you fear for his soul?

Adeline:
Sister? He wasn't a repentant man… if I may be so bold? (Rolls) Zip! Did he ever go to confession? As far as I know he hadn't been inside a church in years.

Joanne:
(Rolls) How would we know that? He was never here for you to spy on. Did you wait around all day on every Sunday by the plaque on our grand and beautiful church that says "To the generous and loving heart of Ramsey Rouso from the parishioners of Saint Thomas'. (Rolls ) 450

Adeline:
You are being ugly and I won't have it. 350

Joanne:
Well…Lets be truthful. What's so different him being dead or alive? We just won't see him this Christmas or any Christmas from now on.

(Long silence)

Ramsey:

I was in the merchant marines. Chief engineer. I traveled the world. They would fly or sail me everywhere to inspect, refit or repair the fleet. It was a grand life and I didn't have to be here much. That was a 'two' Adeline ( Points to the dice)…she cheats…and such a pious woman. I'll bet that doesn't come up in confession.

( Door open and slams- young woman, Bev, runs upstairs.)

Joanne:
Beverly girl, come down and say 'Hi' to your aunt. Where you been?

Bev:
(Walks down stairs)
Hello Auntie Adeline.

Adeline:
What are you wearing Dear?

Bev:
I was just out. Anyone made dinner? (Head off stage then stops) Do you know what I learned today? (Walks over to the table) Who's winning?

Adeline:
I think your mother…she cheats you know? (Passes Gas loudly and shifts in her seat waving the air. The other two women flinch) I'm so sorry. I have no control…diverticulitis.

Ramsey:
Bullshit…we are closer here to the real woman. Nothing but gas.

Joanne:
I do cheat just not very well. Bev honey, go over to the bar and get that air-freshener… the one I put tape on and wrote 'For Adeline'.

Adeline:
You are being ugly again.

(Bev gives Joanne the air-freshener-sprays)

Bev:
I saw Ben today.

Adeline:
And how is the dear?

Bev:
(Walks to the bar and gets a glass. Walks over to the table and pours a full glass. Sits on the sofa.)
He seems better. I guess he's in twelve steps…got a job down at the docks. Seems good. (Gulps down glass)

Joanne:
If you think to get back with him… how will it help him if you keep sousing?

Bev:
I'm not the one with the problem. He gets mean when he drinks and you know it. I have no desire to get back with him. Besides …

Joanne:
It is three in the afternoon…

Bev:
…The bottle was on your game table. I am not a slut. (Glaring at an uncaring Adeline) in spite of what I wear. I don't do drugs…I am not depressed. I drink…sometimes too much. When I do - I fall asleep. I am a good girl…MOTHER!


Adeline:
Roll Sis! She is you know. She goes to Mass with me every Sunday. You don't even do that. What's the score?

Bev:
Was that Pop's bottle? It was behind the books. Say what's going on here? Mom you would never let booze in the house. (Stands and walks over to the table caring her glass. She starts to pour more vodka in her glass.)

Joanne:
(Screams)
Shut up!

(Slaps the bottle and glass from Bev's hand. Stands and walks over to the stairs, back to the audience, crying.)

Bev:
Oh Mom -You used to nip from it and fill it back up with your bottle in the kitchen. It was a ritual of love and respect and I know it. I meant nothing by it. So don't …
(Adeline gets up and puts her arms around her sister- walks her back to the table.)

Joanne:
I did love him. (Sits) God help me I did love him. I'm sorry. Sweety, get me some paper towels, I've made a mess. And as for you, Sis, I don't do Mass or Confession…my soul is secure and that is sure as the Pope in Rome - and you know it.

Adeline:
I know. Sweetheart . I know.

Joanne:
He hated me. He hated me and he had every right too! ( Slowly raising her voice to a yell…Slams the table.)

Bev:
No he didn't Mom. It was just his job and it kept him away.

Adeline:
Yes Dear. It was his job.


Joanne:
(Quieted leaning back)
Do you know what secrets do? Do you? They create a play with characters and roles that move the players along on courses that they can't possibly foresee. It's the secrets that become who we are. Reality, truth, all of it is in the 'Secret'. The 'Lie'- the secret - becomes the 'Truth'. And we learn to live in it. We even thrive fearing the change…yes… that true revelation would crash down on our careful and contrived habits. Why risk something as vague as optimism or cynicism when the inevitable stands perched so solidly in front of us? The secret will always be revealed but we spend all our hard won time holding it in place until the weight of it crashes down on us. We are made of it and it of us. We delude ourselves that habit is good enough. There is no room for anything else.

(Everyone stares at Joanne in awed silence)

Bev:
Mom - That’s pretty deep. I've never heard you talk that way.

Adeline:
Your mother is a very deep woman. Ever notice she does crosswords in ink. Quiet women often run very deep. She always was deep you know. Mother thought it was no good a woman being deep, thought men were frightened by it. Poor Sis always caught Hell for her thoughts on things. When she was young she had opinions on everything …not like now.

Joanne:
Thanks.

Adeline:
What? Oh you know what I mean.

Ramsey:
Dear Lord. (Rubs his head)


Bev:
When I was a little girl. (Sits down on a chair next to the table) I used to sneak down the stairs and watch you two. There were these toasts you two did…lets do one now. (Both sisters look at each other) I know a secret…I want to do it with you and I'll make up the toast. (She gets up and pours the drinks)

( Bev says the poem-toast and the women repeat.)

Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak
(Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak)
Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink
(Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink)
Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek
(Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek)
After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink
(After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink)


(Women laugh)

Bev:
To Daddy!

Women:
Hee haw!

(Ramsey stands up.)

Joanne:
To my husband! Not bad Sweety …A few decades of practice and you will be brilliant.

Ramsey:
I'm the one who needs a drink!
(Sits)

Bev:
I intend for us to get wasted tonight. Tomorrow we will go on the wagon. I'm going to fix us some plates. We will need to eat. Mom? You do crossword puzzels in ink?

Joanne:
Use the paper plates would you baby.

Adeline:
The pad is ruined. We will have to start over. Oh Dear.
(Wiping the table)

Bev:
Mom Sweetheart, I'm going to use the China…it's never been out and it's time.

(Joanne starts weeping)

Adeline:
I got her that set when your mother was first married. I was married To Sam then…he was well off.

(Bev exits stage left.)

Joanne:
(Snuffling and wiping her eyes)
He was as rich as the Pope and ugly as a frog. When he passed he left it all to you. How you ever managed to let that one climb up on you I'll never know. Did he croak when he came? Or did you make him spread hundred dollar bills and rose pedals on the bed?

Adeline:
I'll tell you who is being ugly…you! We are starting over! (Rolls) 1000
(Silence as Joanne stares at her sister!)
I closed my eyes…(Giggles! Makes a gesture with her hands indicating a large penis.) Don't you say anything. I still think about it. (Crosses herself) I can't help it. He was good…he was ugly as a frog but he was a prince in bed.

Joanne:
Was it his tongue or his winkie?

Adeline:
Both (laughing) you shameless little bitch. Who cared if he was ugly!

(Both women laugh.)

Joanne:
I thought that might be it! I guess I envied you that. What do the Mexican women say?…find a man who is the four F's….Feo,Fuerte,Fiel,Fortuna.

Bev:
(Coming in -stage left- with a large tray.)
What does that mean Mom?

Joanne:
I don't know if it's right but I think it means…ugly - strong - loyal - lucky or rich…I think. (Rolls) Zip!

Adeline:
That was my Sam. You should be okay with me, Sis. Not rub it in my face. I have always taken care for you. (Rolls) 400
(More to come)

www.klstoryteller.com

------
Why is doing what you love the hardest thing to do? Is it because failing what you thought defined you would be too devastating a thing from which to recover? If so, we stay where mere accident has left us.


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