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I was on the subway the other day feeling judged as I usual do in New York. The morning rush to work makes the train cars packed with people like cigarettes in a pack of Winston’s. I was the one Fag trying squeeze to make the full twenty pack. This gentleman seen that I was stepping in to fill the final gap on the train car and sized me up with his cold stare of hate. He then shoved me out of the train as the doors were closing in a distasteful manner. Apparently he felt I was invading his private space and I was the weaker of the links. When you had just awoke in the morning feeling down about life in NY this is exactly what you need mentally to start your day. Twelve minutes later the next full train comes along to an ear crushing screeching halt and I was off smelling bad breathe cheap cologne, Barbara Walters’s brand perfume and day old hairspray. What do you really stare at when you’re packed like sausages? The persons head, the floor, you cannot read a book to keep your eyes fixated from staring at each other in disgust. The pregnant young girl next to me with under sized shirt and outie belly button showing is giving me the eye that she is going to burn my family with her thoughts as I try not touch her when the train car speeds up and brakes and speeds up and brakes all the way to the next station. Screech to a quick stop and everything sways to the front, they open the door and now two people from the middle have to get out at this station and I am on the outside by the door. “Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, I have to get off the Fucking train” I get pushed by the crowd and now I am again on the platform watching the subway trains door close as new people jumped on in my place. The kind of people who have strollers and the government welfare checks with a food stamp card that they buy candy bars, chips, Pepsi and grape soda with instead of buying actual food that will benefit them. The consumers that use their microwave’s to cook every meal. Six minutes later I catch the local train to go two stops to my destination of 42nd street. Now that I am ten minutes late and I left ten minutes early I walk up the steps to find the station entrance smelling of human piss and feces with a man lying with his crotch wet with urine on the ground amongst the cock roaches, A great smell and sight to better my day of human life and existence. Once to street level I continue down the street pass the men forcing the Post News onto you when they yell “Free News” “FREE NEWS” and slap the paper in front you like if you were in Vegas and the Mexicans slap those escort service cards. Walking in NY is like your driving in a demolition derby in midland, people full speed and not budging aiming for a collision to make them feel something. While you dodge the sea of people I make it down my street. The same construction on 39th street from a year back is blocking the sidewalk and you have to cross the street and then cross back over in avoidance of taxi cabs running you down like the running of the bulls. Honking and honking breathing the dust of the construction sight. Now I am sneezing and coughing all the way to the door. Between the dust and the smokers standing outside their office doors it seems I just smoked a pack of cigarettes myself. I made it to my building, I work in the fashion district and my building always has models, designers, photographers, and executives in and out all day. The point I make when I say this is that I am a country boy who wears simple clothes the kind of clothes where I feel comfortable. The perk about this now I am walking through the door and having people laughing, staring, and panning up and down to gather information to make fun of a person next to the water cooler. The kind of fuel for them when they’re on the runway and they use me as a reference “Remember that guy in our building this morning, *chuckle he is why I am in fashion”.

Uncomfortable, coughing, feeling like shit I take a deep breath and walk into the office. “Chris your late”, “you have to call when you are running late”, I always wonder when and how I can call when I am late when my phone does not work down in the underground. It still bothers me not knowing the answer. It’s great how I do not get a Hello or how was your weekend? Anything but yelling, lecture and how I am a bad influence with the rest of the company. I Finally sit at my desk and go through the notes people left me to find everyone one of my purchase orders have circles and giant “NO! NO!” blasted all over them with “??”. Later to find out the owner does not want to pay for a $3.00 glass pitcher on a rental order for a $8,000.00 party so he felt it was necessary to put giant NO’s and exclamation marks all over my purchase orders. Then I open my email and see seven new emails about this pitcher “Was this pitcher ordered, I am concerned” then the other lady comes to me and says I have to take of the pitcher off and then I get another note from the intern minutes later telling me I need to take off the pitcher. This three dollar pitcher is very important in the bigger scheme of things apparently. I am glad the entire office has to be involved with my business. A great community project to make sure this is done. Life stopped at that office for a good twenty minutes before I a came in to make sure I get this very important message.

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The following comments are for "Subway"
by NucleusFire

"Walking in NY is like your driving in a demolition derby in midland, people full speed and not budging aiming for a collision to make them feel something."- was in NY briefly once, didn't care for it. think you've expressed here as astutely and originally as anybody why not...

this is pitiless. doesn't observe life but scrutinises it... from that close up, nothing and nobody looks good, but that's not the point. this isn't an exercise in prettifying, it's an exercise in realising... that is making real...

thanks for the opportunity to engage with experience... not pleasant but illuminating.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 26, 2008 )

Daily Routine
Thanks for reading this unorganized piece. I always appreciate your comments. Sorry for the typo's and grammar errors. I have a personnel friend that makes since and edits my pieces on a later date but, I like to post them when I write them for feedback. Much thanks.

I lived i n Manhatten for over six months and the moments and scenerios i have witnessed just beats you down on a daily basis. This is a true 1 hour of my life i went witnessed. i tend to point out the bad but it is as you say a piece to realize the negativity in out daily lives. This is one hour , could you imagine what hours or days made people think and feel. I like to create these articles to awake people in knowing what shit and negativity we deal with as humans in overpopulated communities.


( Posted by: nucleusfire [Member] On: September 26, 2008 )

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