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#1
In the heat of the afternoon
You counter-
propose
Mutual indifferences,
Sighing.
#2
We worm farm our way
Through another
Morning
Crudely entrenched
Like stereos, settling
Their needles to nag
At worn grooves.
#3
We have eaten out
The apple of
Our hours
Like maggots snouting fruit,
We are
Like frat boys buried
In compliant cunt
Please to God,
I don’t want to wake up.
#4
Blinking we
Become overground
Underscored by sweat
Rank again
We come from corpsing
Our foragers eyes are
Mole to light.
Sometimes I think
We really are worms
Deaf to all
Save the suction of soil
Eat
Secrete
Rinse
Repeat
Shitting our enrichment.
#5
I am dough now,
Soft with strife
Place myself
In to imperfect hollows
And jarring from the
Wrong-
footed womb
I mistake the beginning of
Another day.
#6
We,
Like our monuments
Have been defaced
And pride’s with the willows
In the overgrown grass
Her heart swells
Like an insect bite
As the sun does its justice
To England.
#7
It’s no good
I can’t tell myself
She’d come if she knew
How unhappy I was
I must sit with her
On the tonsured tops
Of game-kept hills
Where mazes martyr afternoons
I must smile when we’re
In Hampton Court or
Clapham Common
Because she thinks this is
The countryside.
#8
Patriots,
It’s the wings we give
Our private pain
Shit in the crock,
Wash pot of
Communal grieving
We can’t make our words
Do penance for us
And our body remembers
Our lapses better
Than God.
It is all so stupid,
She says
We demand most
When we know
We’ll get least.
#9
I lie there and listen
To the timbre of her
Intent
Intent upon her
And if
I give her back her beauty
It will not be like a mirror
It will be like an
Unwanted gift.
#10
Nobody
Can afford to be
Any more guilty
Than anyone else.
And we
Forgive
Anybody
In the hope
Of being
Forgive ourselves.
Or maybe we
Just imagine that
Mass blame is the same
As shared absolution.
#10.2
Caroline says:
Blame is like food
Best shared
And not thrown.
#11
Appointing parents
I want and I wait
For someone to love me
Efficient at orphaned
I bait and I hook-
And they bite
-But they don’t do it right.
Tell me I’m good enough,
Please
But I’ll never believe you
Because
I’m too good at getting
People to like me
It’s not like you chose to
All by yourself.
#12
I crawl back
He dumps cum crookedly and
Possesses me while
He sleeps.
#13
I was mangled
By birth rather than
At it
The crash when
The car
Was a lovely lotus
Auberon’s eye
And opened out gently
To rain
I was integrated
Newly
One day I will tell you
My twice born story.
#13
Smiling
They slake fables like skin
And disrobed go down
To the water
Cess and such
Envelopes them
Ceding to sunk
After ripples retire
And winter has out-
Opheliaed brown flies.
#14
Let me go
Not because it would be best
Not because it would be easy
Not because it would be good
Because it would be right.
I used to be here
Not often but enough
I used to be here
Not fate but fluke
Not often enough
As it turned out.
------
The human race, the only race I know where everybody loses.
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the more things change [rough story]
