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What is this?
A dream I had - this bloody man appeared
A youth; and such a one I dreamed of long
Ago, while yet I was a girl; he seemed
A kindly boy; I could not help but blush
For happiness; at length I let him hold
Me in his arms; at length we kissed and all
The sweets of love were mine! He brought me flowers
And precious gifts, but most I loved to hear
Him talk and watch his gentle eyes; he made
Me smile – and also how I sighed! One day -
It was a Summer’s day, the sun shone early
And all the world was pleasing to my eyes,
My heart was full with youthful love – that day
He ceased to come. I looked for him, but knowing
Nothing of his whereabouts, I looked vainly.
I never saw his face again. For years,
For years, my only comfort was a foolish trick
I’d play to keep me from despair; I’d tell
Myself, while walking through the town, that he
Had called for me, was waiting at my door.
I’d hurry back – imagine it! I’d hurry -
To an empty room, what else? No one came.
My wishes grew timid and I became
A maid to Lady Plumstead, which is to say
That I became a thing! A nothing I
Became! I had no hopes, no wants, no dreams.
My days were changeless as a stone’s. It was
As if I’d forfeited all joys in life.
If this be the man I loved I will grieve
For him. And also for myself I’ll grieve.
Whate’er he did, or why he disappeared,
I’ll never learn; his silence is secured
With ties no torment or delight will loose.
If it be you, my young boy, I’ll weep now;
I’ll weep for you and me, and just for now
Let me resume my youthful sighs, just one
Or two – so; this old use for my eyes, O!
I see it needs no practice! And these sighs,
They have a motion of their own. I’ll kneel
Beside this dearest fragment of my life
And pray.
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I give
