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I’m alone.
I don’t want to lean on you.
Don’t want to care about you
Have those barbs hooked into my stone heart.
It’s too late, man.
The train’s been and gone
And you weren’t on it.
I know you’re in love
I see it in your eyes
Every time you smile at me.
And my cold heart wrenches
To see such misplaced devotion
For there is nothing for you here
But heartbreak and loss.
We tried it once before.
Remember?
I ran away because the fear
Was eating me up inside.
It’s coming back and there’s nothing
I can do to stop it.
Don’t want to.
Fear is all I know.
I am alone.
Alone I stand,
Alone, I am myself.
Who I need to be
There’s no us in me,
My man.
Please go now,
Now, before it’s too late
You tried to fix me
But you didn’t know
How deep it went
How rotten my core.
Please go.
We could be together for awhile
But sooner or later
It would all fall apart.
What then?
Why do you love me?
I’m damaged.
The store said, sorry
No policy on damaged brains
No refund for broken hearts.
You can’t see that, somehow.
I try to get away.
You said honesty,
But I’m already lying
To go be by myself.
I liked you once,
Because being with you
Was like being alone.
But then you wanted more,
More and more and more,
And now I feel like you’re digging
Your hopes into my brain
Irreversibly.
I'm sorry.
How can I stop you?
Ho can I make you hate me?
I already told you my history.
It didn’t scare you away.
It made you closer.
I told you I still did it.
You frowned,
and I said I'd stopped.
It was a lie.
I'd like to think someday
I could be normal.
I just don't know
I need a break
Because
I don’t want love
I want freedom
To find myself
Be myself
For myself is all I have.
------
Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive. ~Elbert Hubbard.
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A Trip to the Beach
