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You are my life,
My truest desire.
You keep burning that fire,
My, I wish you could by my wife.
Tick tock,
Tossing and turning
Goes the clock.
Now let's go get some
Bar-be-que and get busy.

------
The Lord~


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The following comments are for "A Poets Whim"
by Lord Alexandre

revision.
I wans't sure what the line 'tossing and turning' was trying to say... just didn't seem to fit with the clock.
The flow seemed a bit off in places too, which didn't help.
I'm going to score it 5/10, but I do think it could get *much* better with relatively minor changes.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: March 12, 2003 )





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