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Time...is a Lie
by TAMMYHENDRIX (Member) - published: July 14, 2008
Word Count: 128 Word Bytes: 875 Viewed: 141 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by TAMMYHENDRIX





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Time...is a Lie


This is it
This is the moment

I am defined by these behaviors
I see in me and oh
How very blind I am

I become unfamiliar to myself
But only when thunder turns silent
Lightening becomes a mere spark
Sun awakens and peeks
And the rain no longer falls

This is it
This is when I know not

Who I am
Why I am
Where I am
When am I?

If not then
Then why now
Is it not over yet
Or am I simply holding on

My quivering grip tells me
I want the pain
I like the torture
I invite the agony

And now...
I am alive

There seems no logic
In past and present
One in the same
Time...is a lie


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Comments

The following comments are for "Time...is a Lie"
by TAMMYHENDRIX

sometimes it takes
a while for a poem to sink into my understanding. i've read and reread this one a couple of times and i'm still on the edge. it's not the poems fault. i love poem: its voice and feel. i'll visit it later and see what i find.

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: July 15, 2008 )

when thunder turns silent
Read frustration in this poem. Inability seems to take on a life of its own and is seemingly winning the war between can't and won't. But, in writing out your inner workings, you have set foot in right direction.

I know I commented on LJ but I realized I didn't actually share my thoughts on the poem, only your growth as a writer.

( Posted by: desvelado [Member] On: July 15, 2008 )

Des And johnjohndoe
Hello jjd, nice to hear from you again. Having a hard time understanding this one is not surprising. You'd really have to know more about me to get it. But this is pretty much about my inability to relax and enjoy the good things in life...happiness, healthy relationships, love, etc... I seem to have a much easier time dealing with the "not-so-good" aspects of life. I know how to fight, hurt, survive that sort of thing. THAT I understand and in some morbid way it's actually comforting to live with. What I have such an extremely hard time with is a better supposedly "deserved" good life. It makes more sense to believe that things going "good" just means that things are about to go bad. So in my head?.....why not just invite the bad...it's gonna happen anyway. I do a lot of self-sabotaging. I hate myself for it. i just want to relax.

Des...my friend thank you for understanding this. I think my inability to grow as a woman beyond my "fantasies" is both a "can't and won't" struggle indeed. I'd like to think that having a healthier view on sex means I'm healed...not true.
God I wish it were. Relationships, men still leave me with nothing more than agonizing desire to get close always defeated by fear. I know you are aware of my recent relationship status. Well...I think I just pushed another one away. I am so, so, so tired of being alone and I am most definitely my own worse enemy. Thank you dear
xoxo

( Posted by: TAMMYHENDRIX [Member] On: July 16, 2008 )





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