For being a writer I am often deluged with questions such as:
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" What is a Thesis sentence and how do I write one?"
" Why do I have to make an outline?"
" HOW do I make an outline?"
" Is it I before E except after T?"
" Should I write this in first person or third person, and will the third
Person write it for me, and what ever happened to the second person?"
" What's this whip for?"
Umm, disregard that last question.
Well, I have one universal answer for these and many other questions which
I am confronted with, " Don't ask me, that's what I have an Editor for!"
Yes an Editor is a wonderful thing to have.
I don't have to worry about misspelling a word for my editor will correct
I only have to use punctuation to separate my thoughts, and my editor
will offer valuable insights such as " you should use a colon there rather
than an appendix."
My editor will cross my T's and dot my I's, which is sometimes quite painful,
but my Editor swears I deserve it for making her work so hard.
And my Editor is not like my 10th grade English teacher, who would just make
marks all over my paper and returns it to me, saying " Good Content ( of
course my editor NEVER says 'Good content', but she does tell me when it
sucks.) but far too many grammatical errors" and expects ME to fix them all.
No, my Editor even retypes it for me on her really nice computer that I am
pretty sure I bought for her as "typing supplies".
Almost invariably the people asking me these questions will reply to my
answer by saying " no Really, Should I use Roman numerals with capital
letters then small letters or capital letters with small letters and then
numbers when I do my outline?"
To which I usually blink my eyes rapidly for a few seconds, shake my head,
then look at them in all seriousness and say " what???"
And then of course I offer an invaluable piece of advice that I had
previously hinted at earlier and now feel as if I am being repetitive by
informing them of their need for an editor.
" But I am doing this for school, not for a living," they will say in a tone
almost but surely not resembling begging, "I can't get an editor!"
So I will look them square in the eyes, noticing how they are starting to
droop, and say " You want a good grade don't you?"
The basic premise behind going to school is to learn. And out in the harsh
real world, every piece of printed word you see, well, most every piece, has
been gone over by an editor. Alot of people who make presentations or
proposals to a corporation will have an editor go over and correct their
work to aid them in their success. Alot even had an editor help with their
resume which got them this high paying presentation making job for which
they require an editor.
So by going out and getting an editor you are in fact gaining practical
work experience which may be extremely helpful to you in the future.
Once you have an editor you must take steps to keep your editor happy, the
least of which is giving them gobs of money, and never questioning their
expenses, such as 28,540 dollars, which coincidentally is the exact same amount
my editor paid for her new car, for Red correction pens. These pens cost
quite alot and my editor goes through a massive amount of them. Apparently.
Another step is to take steps to insure your editor NEVER overhears a
conversation in which you say something equivalent to " Editors are people
who know well all the rules of grammar but have no creative ability."
" Most editors are failed writers."
Or rather, what I meant to say, was NEVER say these things, for they are just
Editors are fickle creatures and prone to violent mood changes, and some-
times difficult to get along with. But everyone should have one.
And everyone should take the appropriate actions to keep their editors
happy, even if it means occasionally using the whip when they request it.