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The pronounced ‘fairest in the land’, Snow White, was found by dwarves on Saturday morning, stranded in Sherwood Forest. Her mother, huntsman and magic mirror have been arrested and charged with attempted murder.

‘The last thing I remember was the huntsman taking me for a walk on Friday night. Then I woke up in the dwarves’ tiny house. I thought I had been given a potion to make me a giant,’ Snow White commented.

The huntsman, Charles Potter, claims that he actually saved Snow White’s life by leaving her in the forest. ‘The Queen asked me to kill Snow White and bring back her heart. She is a lovely girl. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I let her go and took back a boar’s heart to the Queen.’

Upon investigating the Queen’s dungeon, the Far Far Away Bureau of Investigations (FFABI) found a large quantity of poisoned apples and a list titled ‘Things I can do to become the fairest in the land’. First on the list was ‘exterminate Snow White’, confirming the allegations against the girl’s mother.

The Queen’s magic mirror has also been taken into custody as a witness and possible assistant to the Queen’s schemes. ‘The Queen asked me who was the fairest in the land and I told her the truth-Snow White. The woman is crazy. She seems to have forgotten how beautiful she was when she was younger. I’m sure that most of the other fairytale creatures would agree to that. I’ve watched her wasting away in her castle over her desires to become good-looking. Being a witch, I’m sure she could come up with a better way of making herself beautiful again. I’ve seen a recipe in her book for a de-wrinkle potion using a dragon’s stomach juices.’

The trial will be at the Fairytale Court next Tuesday. The Queen faces a definite loss of her crown and the possibility of either a life sentence or being hanged, drawn and quartered.




Comments

The following comments are for "Queen butchers a heart to be beautiful (Fairy tale as hard news article)"
by Fi

Great story! Original!
Fantastic!!! Really, really good!

Do you have other wonderfully original takes on other fairy tales? I'd love to read them. If not you should definitely do more.

Quite an eye you have there.

( Posted by: TAMMYHENDRIX [Member] On: June 20, 2008 )

Fairy Tales and such . . .
This was incredible! Only a creative genius could come up with such a thing.

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Member] On: October 28, 2008 )





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