Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

With the moon hovering overhead,
my life takes it course,
but up ahead,
a fork I see,
a difficult choice to make.

Do I stay on the tried and true?
or rather then forge ahead,
stop, And think about,
where that course will lead.

A good paying job,
experience second to none,
satisfaction most deserved.
all in all a fine future
right in front of me.

But I spy another route
to my happiness.
a tougher road
to be sure
of that I have no doubt.

A stormy sea,
Of ink and ideas
and of debt and death.
Making the end
All the sweeter
Knowing I have earned it.

But this path,
Is far off still,
So I have time to choose.
Look out world!
Cause ether way
You will know my name.


------
if the pen is mighter then the sword then the word processer must be mighter then the missile


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "choices"
by johntellall

two paths
It is reminiscent of the fable of two paths, a common theme but I like that you've brought the element of risk into the fold. And you separate success from true happiness -- a good point made. I think that defines the fork in life's path quite well. I am a good example of the successful path, but somehow wish I was back in the trenches busting my knuckles for less pay but looking forward to the daily challenges. I guess I've surpassed that in pay, but seems like I've fallen into a hole.

I do think the first line doesn't quite fit as the moon overhead doesn't say much with the rest of the poem. First line is an external image but immediately becomes more internal as you describe life’s journey begun. Also the last line, it seem a bit callous to me. It is a bold statement but I think the phrase "You will" is almost an in-your-face statement -- puts some confrontation at the end. For me it is a sour note for the rest of the poem.

I would give it an 8 with promise.

Good work
BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: June 11, 2008 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: