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On my way to Dream Land,
I crossed paths with an angel.
You showed me beauty and kindness
to which before I was blind.
I looked down
and saw the shattered pieces of my former self
like a broken shed skin
and the clouds spoke a eulogy
and rained a requiem
while they thundered the knell
for a funeral
of memories better forgotten
And as the lightning pierced my pupils
I turned the grave into a crib,
for new life would crawl back out
with a second, newer skin
and as I looked into your eyes,
the Earth stood still
and I slipped through the seconds and spaces
to hold you so tight.
You feel this?
This pulse is our love.
Our unity rings through out the universe.
As ripples become waves,
so shall our love crash
against the shore of the universe,
dragging back galaxies
like simple debris.
This perpetual beat
is the life of you and I,
our love.
We will lay at the shore
to watch the quasars burn out
like lightning bugs dying
in a spider’s web
and I will give you all my love.
I love you, Viki.

------
If it can be destroyed, it SHOULD be.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Solar Set"
by RavusCor

loveset
I like how you capitalized Dream Land. Makes it a proper destination - not to mention one worth visiting.

I enjoyed the poem overall. There were a few places I stumbled but I am not here to re-work your poem; only to appreciate it.

It's full of so many great lines that I wish it would go on for another thousand words.

***

Thought you might be new to the site. Looked into your bio and found you last posted just before I joined in August.

So welcome back and hope you post more often.

( Posted by: desvelado [Member] On: May 11, 2008 )

Solar Set
First of all, thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed this. This is actually my latest piece, written for a very wonderful woman in my life. It started out as a text message poem but I wanted to see how it would hold up here.

I understand if there were places you stumbled and would like to hear any suggestions you have but will only consider them, as I tend to be really attached to what I already have.

Yes, my favourite part is where it talks about watching the quasars burn out like lightning bugs dying in a spider’s web.

Thank you. I did get a bit discouraged from posting on here but I now have four pieces waiting to be approved. Also I think I will be posting my more personal and extensive writing on here. I have a very personal piece that I would perfer someone I didn't know to read before I post it anywhere else so I will definetely be posting it here.

Thnks again.

( Posted by: RavusCor [Member] On: May 11, 2008 )





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