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If I could close them before next sunrise
Lay both at my feet without slightest sound
I may never again with sinner's eyes

Stoop so low, run so slow, to my demise
Or circle dark, or steep, or table round
If I could close them before next sunrise

Under cover let me extend, revise
Remarks I've made of Heaven lost and found
I may never again with sinner's eyes

Turn over sheafs of leaves anew whose guise
Is bare, transparent and most bloody wound
If I could close them before next sunrise

How stark my sleep, my keep is no surprise
Of dreams, of 'mares and larks, a shriek unbound
I may never again with sinner's eyes

To doubt, doubt twice or more at least unwise
Tell me now at noon whom you would have crowned
I may never again with sinner's eyes
If I could, close them. before next sunrise.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Lastly"
by williamhill

Lastly

I am not alone in speaking for the masses with a thumbs up for excellence in this yet another William Hill wordcraft master work.

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: April 28, 2008 )

Cadence
I like the cadence here -- coupled with very solid reprise throughout. I read this backward, and by gosh it is still a has great form and cadence and the reprise is just as relevant -- it holds together front to back and back to front.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 9, 2008 )

Charlie
The rhyme in this villanelle is flowless and the sentiment one that I'm sure all of us at one time or another could relate to. It's good to see your work again after so long.

Keep it up old friend,

Bart

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: July 29, 2008 )

Wonderful, Charlie!!
This was fantiastic Charlie...you are truly a master of the villenelle...the rhythm left me breatless to say the least...I'm green with envy!

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: July 30, 2008 )





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