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Though I never truly lied, you might recall my eyes
As the chocolate-coated poison burned on in.
I lost one tear of regret, one tear trying to forget,
And they met in resignation ’neath my chin
You didn’t even sigh as I let them trickle by,
A match tossed on the pyre of Might-Have-Been.

What sad waste of emotion, those tiny drops of ocean
That fell, by us both detested, to the floor.
Soon they’ll roll away, and drift into cliché,
Something small and sharp we’ll both ignore.
I whisper “understood,” that this is for the good.
And pretend that I don’t love you anymore.

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The following comments are for "Drops of Ocean"
by DameSansMerci

does this mean I'm talking to another Keats fan? we're a classy bunch and no mistake ;) ...

really enjoyed this, well rhymed and rhythmed both, and pithily put together, exploiting the trite sentiments and phrases usually espoused in love poems and doing something altogether more pertinent and true-to-life with them… it has a wryness, this, a knowing should-know-better feel, and the almost rueful ending engaging the reader’s sympathy too

as a debut it’s impressive and I’m eagerly awaiting more. welcome to Lit. best to you.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: April 5, 2008 )

Drops Of Ocean
WOW! This piece is fantastic! I really mean it. You have every "drop" of raw emotion invested in this. You are quite gifted. Enjoyed this so much.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

( Posted by: TAMMYHENDRIX [Member] On: April 5, 2008 )

Drops of Ocean
I liked the clever phrasing you used to depict your contemptuous grieving. The last line left me wondering if the contempt was a facade. An excellent poem I enjoyed reading.

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: April 6, 2008 )

what could have been...
love and contempt...tragic combo, yet best to end potentially bad choices of fogged thinking that can only lead to disaster and much greater pain. I particularly love the line:

"I whisper “understood,” that this is for the good.
And pretend that I don’t love you anymore."

Beautiful and deeply touching...poetry is supposed to touch you somewhere deep, somewhere inside, and you certainly did a good job of it here in relating your experience in such way that of course it could be subjective and personal to the reader.


( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: August 2, 2008 )

A Gathering Mystery
the mystery of the ocean
is no mystery to the tears
gathered by the rivers-full

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: May 19, 2016 )

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