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You are the chair I stand upon
As I nail the hemp to the beam
This way there's no chance to scream
When your support is finally gone
Slow, choking death

You are the bottle I drink from
Before I go for out for a spin
I won't notice the end begin
I'll be too drunk, too numb
Crushed against a wall

You are the blade I choose to use
I'll make sure to dig it in deep
So it'll gush instead of seep
Maybe that's the death that I'll choose
Pale in a bathtub

You are the breath gulped in the sea
The burning from a lung full of drink
Concrete used to help me sink
Lack of air will set my mind free
Horrible, that end

Your disgust in me is the vapor I breath
Permeates my soul
Your hate is the tool I use to be cruel
My heart becomes coal
The love that I lost has become my cross
I bear it with pride
The way you don't care is a feeling I share
I know I must die
The courage I get has not killed me yet
The blood is not spilt
The end of my time is just like this rhyme
You carry the guilt

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The following comments are for "My Cross"
by Comradivanred

I like
the inexorable, inevitable downward motion of this, it is, indeed, like the sinking you refer to… I do detect a wryness here though, that poem’s I is laughing ironically at himself and his weaknesses as much laying in to poem’s you… and that there’s almost a perverse pleasure in laying the guilt on increasingly thick… not mature, perhaps, not nice, but certainly very human, very relatable…

thanks for the tangibility of this.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: April 1, 2008 )

A heavy cross to bear..
I, by no means have the vocabulary or experience that Des and Auld have, (in fact I get advice from them and believe me I need it!), but this does read like a love that is unbearable and undeniable for you. Been down that, I wanna just "stop" the pain and it's all your fault thing. I also agree with Des it does read like the qualities of a love/hate relationship with God or a religion.

The good thing here is that you are really aware of your feelings. That awareness is precisely the moment healing begins. Hope it's happening for you.

It's quite deep.
Thanks for revealing so openly your inner conflicts.

( Posted by: TAMMYHENDRIX [Member] On: April 4, 2008 )

Rhyme scheme
Beautiful rhyme scheme there! I love the way you work within the structure, but don't seem at all limited thereby. Way to work the language!

( Posted by: DameSansMerci [Member] On: April 6, 2008 )

The tub view is nice
I like the imagery of "Pale in a tub" -- written any other way (i.e. using more words) would have made it cliche, but those 3 words draw the picture quite well.

I would guess most of us have been at the end of that rope (no punn) and tried to figure out a direction to go. Do we climb back up and jump back into the rat race, or do we let go and see how far we will fall before landing in unknown?

I see this poem as a choice -- like the cross you or I must carry. Maybe just like Jesus, who had several choices but chose submission in the end. But through submission cam resurection, redemption, reformation, rebirth -- a lot of other "re" things. Hang on there, the Re is all around.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: April 9, 2008 )

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