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On your balcony alone I smile to myself
Ignore your pathetic antics
Brush off your familiarity

I know hun, I know

Can no longer comfort you
Wonít protect you
No space under my wings now

Iím not her anymore

My turn to be selfish
Time to take all and leave little

Shades open and river rushing past
Give me your thumb to suck
Curled up on your lap
Sailing away with myself
Your hand on my cheek
Desert you in your scribbled room
Full of past loves and fear and oblivion
With your too-loud movie on your too-big TV

Fall asleep inside of you
Take all your tenderness and affection
Your smell, your warmth
Steal it away
Pull it out of you
Gather it about my hips
Soft on my belly
Keep it for myself
No sharing now

You stay in your too-cold place
With your lies and your hypocrisy and that look all over your face
Itís not you I want
Stay there
Iíll spit you out

Your phone rings
Stretch and purr, bite my lip
You look in my eyes as you talk to whoever she is

Sheís not me

Hardly muffle my giggles
How I wish I knew what jealousy is
Even if I did you wouldnít deserve it

Suddenly bored
Reality calls
I answer it

Push you off
Pick up my pieces
Strewn all through your house
All over you
Tear them off
Donít touch me please
Iíve got what I want

Just put you to bed
Hush babycakes, Iíll chase all the bad things out of your closet one last time
Stroke your head and watch you slip into your chaotic dreams
Touch your lips
Leave you tossing and turning
With all those terrifying things swirling in your veins

Look out the taxi window at all the memories fluttering away
Passing by the glass
Laugh to myself
And tell the driver to turn the radio up

Itís been raining the whole week but I never noticed
That my hair is wet

You brag to them that youíve had me all this time
Oh little one, if only you knew

You never even came close to scratching the surface

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The following comments are for "Turntable"
by radicaldramatics

A journey piece
I see there is a lot of movement in this poem, and I think that is good. It seems a little in the abstract in most places. I don't know if that is intentional.
example: "Ignore your pathetic antics" right away that is something I can not really grab. I don't know what the pathetic antics are.

"Push you off
Pick up my pieces
Strewn all through your house
All over you
Tear them off
Donít touch me please
Iíve got what I want"

That stanza could be a really strong sentiment, but "Pick up my pieces...." is another abstract area that takes away from the strength, I think.

The rest of the poem is really nice and I can understand the sense of change, moving on, moving forward with a life that you capture so well. Just my opinion, but if you can re-write some of the more abstract thoughts as clear descriptives I think it would work much better.

A really good poem, keep them coming


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: March 19, 2008 )

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