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#1
While we lay lazy-
boning
The storm sore sky
Worked wracked
Fingers back to basics
Two-a-bedding
Tiredly
After we’d been heavy-
petted and sight-
shortened
We allowed the day
To close
Like a door
We were shutting
Behind us
Oh, my friend
Who are we to say
We understand
The bone-
working of
Reaching?
*
#2
I thought I could go down
Get water from the well
Get love like water
From the well
It doesn’t work that way.
*
#3
I think I have it in me
To be happy here
Distil a suburban equanimity
Between your lateral
Ambivalence and
My literal abjection
I have it in me
To be happy here
In shire-shouldered
Expanses that
Nurture me greenly
More than make up for
Your masculine
Short comings
I have it in me
To be happy here
I think
I thought
If inevitability
Weren’t a restless tendency
If these few rough acts of
Kindness
Didn’t chafe
If for once our compunctions
Could be clothed
Not stripped in the
Religiousless rigours of
Our nakedness
If we could take pleasure
In unguarded
Human means and
Unrestrained human
Measure
If you weren’t ever-
aimed
I could be a boy again and
Melt in your arms
Like a cat in a spot of
Sunlight
We would walk the dog
On the downs
We would be crimsoned and clovered
My love would not meet
The incomprehension of
A blunt instrument.
Aye, if.
*
#4
When you stood in
The doorway
This afternoon
I saw you with the
Other-person eyes of
Just waking
I did not recognise you,
Your hair was thinning
Your brown cord coat
Too young for you
Before me stood
Not my sanguine tormentor
But a poor man’s Alfred J
Prufrock
Balding,
Without fluence of
Any kind-
Then Moira’s Valium
Kicked in again
I slept on your blue and white bedspread
My left hand trapped
Under my chest.
*
#5
And now
You’re lusionless too
And me
I’ve no more
Lesses or nesses to
My name
Feeling less expletive
More deletive
As day goes by
And even the meagre
Sentiments summed up by
My out-
patient’s
Body are
Reminiscent of depletion
In their own merry way.
What I hate most
About you
Is that you let words
Excise
Your intentions
In comparison
A fist
In the face
Is nothing.
*
#6
Don’t make me laugh,
The peace you
Proclaim is
The silence I suffer
Menial peace
Derivative peace
Unnecessary inhibiting peace
There’s no boat to rock,
You idiot
You’re at sea in a sieve
Any fool will tell you
There was only ever war
At all.
*
#7
For about ten minutes today
I felt fucking amazing
I knew the difference
Between soul baring and
Soul offering
I knew sleep
Substantiates things
Knew dreaming poet
Allied to elemental
Knew difference between
Knew and saw
For about ten minutes
Today
I was amazing
I knew we were all
Always gone
We were never really here
And I knew endlessness
Reincarnative aimlessness
Was the lesser of two evils-
When you really considered
“Here”
I knew the wisdom
Of mutuality
I knew how to comfort
My fellow man
I could tell butter from
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
I could…
Then I remembered who I was and
Where I was:
Poet,
Universe pisses or
Passes
Through you
Poet,
You draw with the broad
Brush strokes of a death sentence
Poet,
Laugh at the comic obscenity of being alive
Poet,
When did a miracle become
A thankless task?
When did Jesus become
Cinderella in
Your own personal pantheon?
Poet,
You will kill yourself on a Tuesday
Thursday Sunday
Monday week
You will use clothes line and look laundered
Poet,
You are punishing yourself
For being unhappy
Poet,
There are geese,
Morning is a synchronised mattering
A collective decision to carry on regardless
And be something
Poet,
Nobody will ever love you
The way you’ve convinced yourself he did
Poet,
Pulled your luck
Instead of pushed
Poet,
Your body can’t take any more abuse
Neither can your soul
But no one tests for soul’s defences
Poet,
It’s up to you
To pronounce your time of death
Poet,
Clinician to
The corpses of words
Like a florist is an undertaker
To flowers
Poet,
Go home
Go home
Go home
Go home
Like the British have been telling you for years
Get a room, they go
We have, you say, and you’re in it
Ah, the classics never die
Go home
Go home
Go home
Just go.
------
The human race, the only race I know where everybody loses.
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Ryan’s knot
