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To my new friends at lit.org, I am going to leave you all for what may be a long while, what may even be forever. When I came here it was to make public what I thought would be one poem, "Kevin James Hall Caught a Fish Here". This poem of course being written to just, I guess, try to honor my son Kevin who passed in May of last year at 21 years of age.
Grief has been overwhelming and the writing seemed to help, a relief valve if you will.
You have a resident poet here you all call desvelado, what a guy. Encouraged me to stay and welcomed me to write more, as much as I needed he said, I told him once he led with his heart, and his kindness led me around by my heart. He is such an asset to you all here, and not just his poetry, but his encouragement, his time given.
Then another gentle soul enters in, old misery guts himself, Shannon. One thing you never knew about me Shannon, (just one, not six) was that your comment to me on one of my poems brought me to tears, because you got it, and because you accepted my faith in God in such a sincere way in that comment that it moved me so much. That comment was to the poem "There Must be Warmth".
And of course Lucie, you three here make this place work, because you accept all people, and you take the time to comment and encourage. Thanks Lucie. You made me believe I could really write.
Many many of you commented many times and I appreciated it so much, truly. And I know not everyone has time to comment every day. But I think you all agree with me that these three are almost always there for the feedback.
Read many great poems, met some talented people, made some friends.
I will leave you how I started, with a writing about my Kev. Don't know that it is a poem, more an open letter to him I wrote last September or October I think. (I can hear Francisco, "it IS a poem").
But first a poem that I kind of stole from myself from the "Small Things" poem I wrote. The first line in it was "hurriedly I pass these woods". Well, that "hurriedly I pass" just wouldn't let me go till I gave it its' own poem. so I did.
Please forgive my unorthodox way of doing this, but what does it matter? If anything lit.org is that.
May you each know the True Saviour, our Creator and Lover, Jesus Christ. All inquirers see that old despised book, the Bible. Robert. I WILL miss you all.
Hurriedly we pass
like snowflakes fall to earth
like meteor in atmosphere
like fool in his mirth
Hurriedly we pass
like lightning in the sky
like honking geese flying
with only south in their eye
Hurriedly we pass
like whisper in the ear
Though slow down the road we go
the end is very near
Hurriedly we pass
and we must not assume
tomorrow is a given day
that time has more room.
Letter
Kevin,
You should be here
you should smell the cut grass with me again.
Get in the pickup, take a ride with me again.
Tell me what's on your mind, please.
Have I hurt you in some way?
Is that why you're gone?
If I have hurt you
please, let me know.
You should be here today.
It would be a good day
to see you again.
It is fall and the leaves are changing,
and the weather is nice.
We'd take a walk again
like when you were young.
When I was your world also
and nothing else mattered
but that we were together.
Or just come again to
warm me with your smile
that you can't hide
when that fish bites.
With the quiet laugh
when you think I've
said something funny
that only your sense
of humor would grasp.
Today would be a perfect day son,
please, now, before the sun sets.
There is still daylight to enjoy
and we can do anything we want.
Get the guns out again
go shoot a nickel or two.
Make it three, one for David,
We'll put them on chains like yours,
wear them around our necks together
until the day we die.
We'll just walk around
and say "remember when".
We'll laugh, and smile.
And we won't even know you
were gone.
Take my hand
one more time,
kiss my cheek
once again
with the freshness of eternity
and the innocence of purity.
With the fragrance of love
around us
I will grasp your shoulders,
I will look into your eyes
I will say today is a perfect day.
It is the one I have longed for
since time began.
We both will understand
how much you have always
meant to me
and we will never part again.
------
Robert J. Hall, thankful "Pa" of Kev and Dave.
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Killing the Messenger
