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In a town so old, there is a tale that's told,
Of how crazy rats, ate all the mangy cats,
Killed the barking dogs, then the fat hogs.

In this town so neat,of course, it's no mean feat,
To climb a monkey tree, or drink an Earl Gray Tea,
Or sup from a stone jar, and without using a car.
It's here in Folly town, rumours spread about Talking,
Points awarded to those tough settlers from Dorking.

Here indeed, was plenty of need,
To see a show, we all must know,
It goes by the name Folly Ball, a black tie do for all,
But there's plenty of talk, about the circular walk,
And poppies on Folly Hill, enough to give us all a thrill.

Then the rain in Spain splashes down here again,
And the Light-House light made the night so bright,
Oh, Talking Points I say:”Make it happen every day!”

The end

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Comments

The following comments are for "Faringdon Town"
by Cleveland W. Gibson

Interesting
Cleveland,

this is somewhat entertaining, almost a sit-com aura about it. I do think the meter can be improved, or the flow if you will. Some suggestions I have:

S2 could be shortened in places by removing commas and excess "soft" words/phrases:

In this town so neat it's no mean feat,
To climb a monkey tree or drink Earl Gray Tea,
Or sup from stone jar without using a car.
Here in Folly town rumours spread about Talking,
Points awarded to tough settlers from Dorking.

Just my suggestions; you can do the same for S3 by removing commas and some of the needless small words.

Good job, I like it.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: March 15, 2008 )





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