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Born a Lion
by Shaza89 (Member) - published: March 4, 2008
Word Count: 87 Word Bytes: 492 Viewed: 165 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by Shaza89





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The pain of eating loved meat, i canot descibe
LIke feeding off the carcass that once kept me alive
My lover wasnt born a lion
and if you're not a lion you're a prey

I feed off him sobbing my way through joints
crying at his weakness, but im triumphant in my game
My instinct is strong, he doesnt know
The girl he loves so much, can never love him so.

I was born a lion, and at 19 of age i see my mane



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The following comments are for "Born a Lion"
by Shaza89

I was born a lion
You know what? I really liked this poem. The only thing I would change - if I'd written it - would be line four of the first stanza. It's minor. I would write is as: And if you're not a lion you're prey.

Like the bluntness of the second stanza. Pun intended...

You stuck to the theme of predator and prey and the National Geographic Channel fan in me loved that.

Good to see you back on Lit.

( Posted by: desvelado [Member] On: March 4, 2008 )

Black Widow


Who is the most frightening the Lion or the chicken

The Lion says "When I roar everybody listens"

The Chicken says "Thats Nothing.... When I cough everybody shits themselves"!!!

Now I did get a little confused with your verse... I keep thinking Gay Lion???

But in the mane... I sort of got it

Eric

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: March 4, 2008 )

good to read you again

good to read you again shaza. this piece has meat in every conceivable sense ;) … the visual’s are stunning, but their vividness is combined with a blunt and brutal sense of this-is-just-the-way-things-are…

a dramatic poem this, and captures the horror (and maybe the magnificence) of a coming of age in a very visceral and immediate manner.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: March 5, 2008 )

Born a Lion
I'm a little confused but that is not at all unusual. I read it like you are his girl, and you are using him, but you care enough for him that it just kills you that he is not the one. But still you just use him. I don't know, but I still think it is good writing. Robert.

( Posted by: robnjop [Member] On: March 5, 2008 )





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