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The Tibetan phase was in full gear. I was exploring the Maitryi rooms and the five Buddha energies. The founder of the place I was in had been something of a radical. He was now dead and his organization was in chaos. But he had left quite a legacy. He had left behind these finely tuned boxes. Each room was bathed in a particular color and had certain shapes inside it. Once you got in you were supposed to get into a certain posture and just keep still and silent. Eventually the neurotic or sane aspect of the energy would hit you. Then it was cruising time. After the hour was up, you would walk in silence outside in the forest. This is how it went until all five rooms were explored.

I kind of freaked out in the yellow room. I saw myself as a hungry ghost. I saw myself losing everything in the market. The green room made me feel strong and brave. But it made others envious and kind of weirded out. The red room was seductive and lusty. A woman who had left this room got kind of angry with me when I refused her advances. She was pretty cute, but I wasn't in the mood.

The white room bored me to death. It just slowed me down and made me not care about anything. But it was the blue room which made a deep impression on me. I was filled with caring and compassion and wept with great ease in there. I could feel the blue light soak me up with powerful healing waves. The Rocky mountain plains were eerie and inviting. I lost myself in the vastness of the space. I was beginning to understand space much better. It always seemed to shrink if you tried to control it. The retreat was well organized. We would sit in the shrine-room with our eyes open, Tibetan style and bells would be skillfully used to allow a gradual transition to the next phase of the day.

Space and time were demarcated with these handy tools. It was artificial and everyone knew it, but it was also kind of important. Time and space were forms and they were temporarily dissolved. Then the formless would suddenly fill you and every breath that was inhaled would vanish, as you followed it out of your nostrils. There was a point where the breath just simply dissolved away and if you could just ride it through into this subtle point of transition the effects could be startling. You yourself would start to dissolve. It was hard to describe this sublime state.

Away from the lodge, a huge tent city had been filled up with people doing meditation in shifts. I would sometimes go over there and stare at the banners flapping around in the wind. The energy was intense. I entered the main tent when it had been emptied out. Portraits of the founder could be seen everywhere. I chuckled about how anyone could take this stuff seriously. There was a crisis atmosphere and you could really feel it. The more I chuckled the more the room started to shake as powerful winds hit the tent with great force.

I high-tailed out of there pretty fast. I wish I could describe to you all the sense of urgency I felt in this place and it wasn't just the urgency of some particular crisis. It was the very urgency of just being. It was pretty simple. The very fact that you were alive meant that there was urgent work to do on yourself. This was already a given. This was being engaged moment to moment. It was like a continuous empowerment. I was receiving a transmission from the founder of this place in a powerful and subtle manner. That's what the howling winds were about. There was a wrathful energy here that had to be respected. Somehow things were now getting accelerated in my life.

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The following comments are for "Harvest of Gems: The Maitryi Rooms"
by gamblerman

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