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The Game
by thebeast (Member) - published: January 21, 2008
Word Count: 70 Word Bytes: 569 Viewed: 110 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by thebeast





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the game we play
so many
times over
it's like
cat and mouse

I let you
back in
but soon
you are
q u i c k
to leave

inside
i'm dying

watching
my life
my feelings
in
your hands
become fragile
with each passing
day

no more

as the sun
s
e
t
s
you take that
step once more

come the dawn
this game is at an end


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Comments

The following comments are for "The Game"
by thebeast

game time
Must admit, this began as a cliche. But I q u i c k l y changed my mind. Speaking of, I like how quick was spread out, as if the act was actually in slow motion but still a blur.

Good, simple relationship poem. Thanks for sharing.

( Posted by: desvelado [Member] On: January 22, 2008 )

Game
Game is surface.
Relationship is depth.
The two don't coincide, or blend, so I disagree with Francisco's comment.
Myself, I do not pour the oil of games on my limpid waters of love. I also prefer the fragility of feelings to be in heart rather than hands...

Good poem, nonetheless, and obviously deepfelt, with "inside/i'm dying" being a timely hairpin turn in this narrative. The sun setting in concrete lines is a nice touch here also.

Thank you for posting this.

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: January 26, 2008 )





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