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How is it that we continually meet
under the most quixotic of circumstances?
Convenience is a spiteful brother;
it has been long
(almost a year now)
since more than a dream has
afforded me your touch.

How is it that I have consistently avoided
the subject of our correspondence?
Commitment is an angry mother;
I have toiled long
(everywakingthought)
on the topic of our
acquaintance.

How is it that you have so diligently avoided
the product of our cooperation?
Your presence is an absent father;
Iíve learned to long:
(god I would give it all in a heartbeat)
I want to wake up from this dream
and see your face.


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The following comments are for "How is it that we continually meet"
by ESeufert

to ESeufert
I commend you on the syntax of your poem. There's an irony in this poem. Family is paradox, and the formality of tone, so to speak, forms a delightful contrast to the subject; though, I suppose, gives the protag. of poem a personality(therefore the poem), almost cynical.

Just a note, phrases like, "everywakingthought" "I want to wake up from this dream..." "In a hearbeat" are considered somewhat romantic cliches, and I would avoid using them. Especially in these, it seems almost as if you are switching tone. Personally I thought you can come up with a better ending given the way you dealt with the first two stanzas, quite originally, might I add.

7

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: February 13, 2003 )

this poem
I should clarify this poem a bit:

like most poems, the basis of this one was an attack. I was attacked, in my sleep, by the haunting memory of a girl with whom I was (long ago) wholly consumed. The dream went as such:

I was at a rather dull party. She appeared, out of nowhere, and we began to talk. This girl, as I Remember her, was quite the socialite. This party appeared to bore her; she told me that she hated my lifestyle. I recognized the fact that what I was doing bored her, and I articulated the difference between the Me that she knew and the Me that I now personify. At this point she walked away.

My only inspiration for days to come was the thought of seeing her face.

( Posted by: ESeufert [Member] On: February 13, 2003 )

ah
That explains the most interesting attitude.

Now you put it in context, much much better sense. :)

Of course, the poem overall was great anyways. I tend to nit-pick at random things. Thanks for the clarification.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: February 13, 2003 )





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