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i could read & write when i was two weeks old, after my eyes opened & i got bored of that thing above the crib, that thing that made like clickety-clack noises & kept me awake, & it had little bears on it. i begged for a pen & paper but i couldn't actually speak at the time, so i cried mostly, and these old people (christ, they must have been in their 30's) kept saying things like "goo!". i was appalled. how dare they. bring me a keyboard, you assholes! a pencil, anything. but no. all i got was gerber baby food. peaches & peas or some such bullshit. you wanna eat peaches & peas? try being a baby. worse than gitmo. & all the cooing, & the friends & the neighbors, all cooing. like it's funny when i pee. get me a toilet, you fuck. i hate these huggies. & this "pat the bunny" crap. give me milton, give me james joyce, what am i, an asshole? death be not proud, anything but pat the bunny. who are these people? i need a cigarette. doesn't anyone around here smoke? jesus. fucking freaks. smooch, mommy.


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The following comments are for "alive"
by mercer102

sweet rant
If I ever have a baby, he or she shall not want for James Joyce. One Finnegan's Wake for every child, let's start a foundation!

( Posted by: DromedaryLights [Member] On: July 2, 2008 )

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