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You must have noticed. Ants always run. How can a society, (human, animal or insect) be geared in such a way. I know humans emulate ants when they are driving. But take them out of a car, and you would have to light a fire under their ass to get them moving.

Have you ever seen an ant trip over something, or fall? I wonder if they ever throw their back out lifting objects twenty times their weight. I would like to be as strong as an ant, or as fast as an ant, I would be rich.

However, I do feel ants have their own problems. Watch one for a while and you'll se what I'm talking about. Now, while you watch one, think of what he would be saying to himself...

"Where am I going, I don't know, out of my way, I have to go over there fast, I'm running, I'm running, wait, what is that, I'm stopping, I have to check it out, oh wait, I have to go over here instead, I'm running, I'm stopping, why am I running in a circle, must be my left legs are shorter, I'm running, out of my way, I'm running, I'm stopping, I'm running....

Nonsense, I know. But an ant can't be thinking much of anything if you ask me, they look like they are acting pretty mindless. Kind of reminds me of their human counter parts, in cars... on the expressways...

I was bored during lunch one day and happened to be watching an ant. It was moving really fast. So I decided to compare it's movement and the ground it covered to what a human could do and see how they compared. I did the math comparing the size of an ant to a human and the ratios and such, and determined that an ant runs around twenty five miles an hour. (That is in ant miles per hour of course!)

We have an ant hill in our back yard next to the burn pile. Today I noticed that they were going out of their ant hill, and traveling around 250 feet around the back yard and along the side of the house into the front yard, fetching something, and taking it back to their ant hill. 250 feet! That would be like four and a half ant miles! And I don't mean just a couple of dozen ants either. There was a steady stream of ants and I could easily track their progress. Imagine if you could get that many humans co-operating together all at once, what we could accomplish.

I wish I could control those ants. Hell, they could easily keep the lawn mowed each week. They could eat up all the fallen trees on the hill in back of the house for me. I could have them attack the moles who tear up the grass each year. Well, as long as they stay out of the house, I guess I will let them live.

They are a nuisance though. Last year, they traveled the same route so much, they actually wore a path in the lawn. I'm not kidding either! There must be many thousands, perhaps millions of them in that ant hill.

When I was a kid, I was spraying water from the hose on some ants one day. An adult neighbor happen to see me doing it and he said if I wanted to kill them, I would have to boil water and dump it on them. I was horrified! All I wanted to do was to see if they could swim, not boil them alive! I was just an impressionable little kid after all!

Still, at least ants aren't as offensive as say, spiders. If I had many thousands of spiders in a spider hill in my back yard, I would move out. Why are spiders so much more offensive? I know why. Because spiders think they can live in your house even if you don't want them to. They are much more independent. They get in your shoes, your closets, your bed... Argh!!! I hate them furry little shits!

Almost all ants look alike, other than size and color. Spiders come in all sizes, colors, and shapes! They are evil little horrors who's only purpose is to make humans cringe in fear and scream like tortured children. Imagine, a two hundred pound construction worker running from a little quarter inch long spider. Ok, so I wouldn't run, but it would trigger the gutter bred instinct of self preservation, and I would lash out and kill the little beast. Just because it is an ugly little creature, and I know it would burro under my skin and lay eggs if I gave it the chance...

In all actuality, I hate all little creatures that crawl on my body without my express permission. I hate all insects, I don't care if they are good for the ecosystem. I'm sure we could come up with some alternative a lot more appealing than spiders. You think Noah really felt obligated to include spiders on the Arc? I doubt it. It came equipped with it's own family, they didn't ask permission, and they weren't invited. And if they were invited, I have a bone to pick with Noah....


The following comments are for "Ant's Always Run"
by The Hal

This is quite an entertaining little piece of writing. It has some very good touches. I thought the best bit was the bit at the end about Noah, but there are good bits right through the piece.
So that's the good side. The down side is that it's very patchy. There are some good bits, but they somehow don't quite fit together; the topic drifts and jumps and changes direction a bit too abruptly.
Score 6, but more like 8 if you can tweak the way it flows. :-)
An entertaining read. Thank you.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: February 4, 2003 )

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