Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Let me sleep as I lay-
in this bed too soft, too small
just to say.

Dreaming of the unusual,
tonight tomorrow it is
all just crucial.

Four walls can tell
very much.
Not to mention my secrets
and such.

But make sure that I awake.
Make sure that I am alive.
Because in my sleep I
feel dead.
I feel as if to never get up...

------
AN


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Sweet Dreams"
by Zia

"Make sure that I am alive."
there's an edgy neuroticism to those last five lines that turn what might have been quite a sweet, succinct poem in to something much more brooding and darkly complex... intriguing, will look out for more.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: October 12, 2007 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: