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a modern fairytale
The Okay Cinderella
as it might have been told by
Damon Runyon


I am quietly picking a gee-gee or two, in order to have a slight bet with Charley the Horse, when the office door opens to reveal this gent with silk threads of three pieces from Macey's, a carnation on his collar and a shine on his boots like the mirror up at Palomar Observatory. . He is a particular kind of swell - I can tell this having been around for many more than just a few days. There ain't no shooter under his arm but you never know - even with his cream suit that is fitting closer than a surgeon's glove.
'You Buttons?' he asks.
'That's me mister but who is it that is asking.?'
'Prince', he says - you know - like I should know him. I know him. This is none other than "Studs" Prince.
Now I ain't no bonehead so I gives him my Number One "welcome" smile, 'Jeez,' I says, with my mouth suddenly drier than Death Valley, ' "Studs" Prince of the Boston Princes. Sit down "Studs". Why doncha? ' But he is already draped across my lonely armchair.
He says, 'You come highly recommended, I hear you are good.'
'Red Buttons is good. Me, I am Mr Fixit. So, now you is here, what is the beef?'
Now, I wish to say, this citizen seems like he has a bee in his bonnet about getting a class broad. His old man is chewing his can off with, "It is time you get this family an heir before I am gone," and like that.. The broads in Boston is of some high-class but just out of his reach and he comes here to get me to arrange a big dance-fest with hand picked classy dolls for him to cast his peepers over. This is some hard task I can tell you but not beyond Red Buttons' grasp. Howsomever I am almost telling him where he can go - in a nice gentle way, you understand, when he plants this bundle of greenbacks on my desk. I can tell at one glance that this is a whole lot of moolah.
He says, 'Same again when I am satisfied the job is well done.'
I should be uncertain. Well, what is it you expect, that I am some kind of chicken?
It is like this, I know a lot of very high-class broads which will do my asking but I also have a god-daughter - Ella Cinders, is her name. She is classy? Is she classy? You should not ask. She is some slick-chick but she is presently having some kind of hard times. She cleans these offices for Dan Baron and he is a mean punk what should not be mentioned in polite company. He employs two old frumps to oversee his cleaning contract. These two smart-asses is called Grimelda and Griselda and both as ugly as Edward G Robinson. I sure as hell want for Ella to go to this shindig but I needs to compromise with the two ugly sisters - meaning, they must go too. For the rest, like I am mentioning already, I have connections and no high-class swaa-ree is without my dolls at it - and they are class, let me tell you.

You should see Ella. She has this cute little figure, so tiny she is real peeteet as the Frogs say. She is going to be the classiest of the classy, so I calls in some markers I have with Madame Yvette. She is really Miriam Schlesingheimer from the Bronx but she is set up as a genuine French Modiste - Hort Coat-chewer she calls it. Anyhows, she surely produces this humdinger of a frock and it suits Ella perfect but there is some kind of hang-up, Yvette says the dress must be back in her store by dawn on the Sunday morning. I lets this pass - time is running down the clock face and ,anyways, this is for Ella to accommodate.
This Saturday night swaa-ree is some show. It is just off Broadway in the "Ritzy" Dance Hall not far from Mindy's. So I am all set up waiting for this Prince citizen to show after he fixes his eyes on the doll of his choice. Can you guess?....... It is like this: it is the dawn chorus and Ella lands in my office - I sometimes flops here when I needs to - and she is crying fit to burst and she is in her cleaning uniform.
'"Studs" Prince,' she blubbers, 'What a nice guy but I needs must get the frock back to the store and I shall never see him no more.' I am trying to pacify her when in comes the two uglies, Grim and Gris, they is shouting all hell about Ella and her cleaning this Dan Baron's place and screaming the likes of, 'Ella get your backside over there and clean up the Baron's offices or you are looking for some new job.'
My ears is paining me now and I am about to yell 'Get the hell outta here,' when in waltzes "Studs" Prince.. He does not see Ella. He bangs on my desk saying, 'No pay for you, Red. The gal I likes takes a hike, so it is no deal.'
Grim and Griz pushes forward screeching, 'Is it me, Mr Prince?' but just now he sees Ella behind the door. 'Hey, you, Miss........stop right there'. Now he is cuddling Ella and kissing her here, there, and every-which-where., so it is not just her lips that have plenty to think about. I am not less than quite a little pleased at these events and more so when he says he does not mind I am Ella's godfather, 'Keeps it all in the family,' he says, and he is slipping me many more greenbacks like he is promising me..
Me, I have the money, so that is okay! Ella, she is in love so that is okay also. "Studs" he has the gal, so that is okay. Old man Prince he might just get his heir, so that is okay. All in all it is okay all round. So that is one mighty okay. OKAY?"

------
Donaldo



Comments

The following comments are for "The Okay Cinderella"
by adriano

"both as ugly as Edward G Robinson"
this was brilliant. will there be more of these? Snow White? Sleeping Beauty? Clever and laugh out loud funny. enjoyed muchly.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: October 1, 2007 )





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