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A few days ago, a friend sent me a forward entitled "Are We Friends or What?". Because of my shortsightedness I am unable to reproduce it here, but perhaps you have recieved and read it before. If not, it is a list of small proverbs about friends. In the version I recieved, several of these proverbs were in boldface, most of which highlighted the difference between true life-long friends and passing acquaintences. They say things like "many people pass through your heart, but only a friend leaves foot prints." Also that "no friend can stand to leave another friend in pain." It contiues in this manner and then encourages the reader to forward it to all of his friends. Many of the thing listed brought painful memories of times when someone I had called my friend had hurt me terribly.
That really hit home. What it says about true friends is very
accurate, and I would say vey complete. If you notice, there is no way to
tell if someone is or isn't one of those great friends until they do
something to prove that they are not (or no longer wish to be) your friend. It is sad but true that almost all of the people with whom we are aquainted and even some of the people we call our friends can forsake us in a moment and never
feel more than slightly remorseful; sometimes even those we love the most
can forsake us, presumably for the benefit of all. This means something very
simple: pain comes with living the life of a friendly person.
Before you begin to think that I'm blotting out the sun with this
rant, realize that it is actually a challenge. Because this pain accompanies the life of an agreeable person, and because we can only control our own
behavior, it is a challenge to each individual to search themselves and be honest with the people they call friends. Don't lead a causual friend to believe that you would give your life for them, and when you do find one of those rare friends for whom you would risk anything, let them know.
Being honest with others in this respect implies an even more difficult
type of honesty: honesty with ourselves. This is one of the hardest things in
life, because you must know yourself before you can judge your honesty with
yourself, and know yourself is not as simple as it seems. It is not a goal
to be attained, but a journey to be made throughout our entire lives.


------
"You have lied to me, my dear Morpheous, and I have ended our little game; I wonder if I fear the truth more than your lies?"
-TRA


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The following comments are for "Friendship (extemporaneous)"
by The Recycled Avatar

friendship
“pain comes with living the life of a friendly person. “ I couldn’t let that line go past without a comment. That is the truest thing I’ve heard in a long time. It is painful to put your self out there for people to find that when you are in need they don’t care. You are right, there is no way to know until the time comes, and then it is too late.

“Don't lead a casual friend to believe that you would give your life for them, and when you do find one of those rare friends for whom you would risk anything, let them know. “

That is an amazing statement. Friends are far more complicated to have than are husbands/wives/lovers and should never be treated as such. A friend is more than that, they are your safe haven, the place that you go when all else fails you. The place away from the husband/wife/lover, the place where an honest answer will be given if asked for. A true friend backs you no matter what, a true friend forgives you no matter what and a true friend will put your happiness above any selfish needs they would have themselves. A True friend is such a rare thing, some people are lucky to ever see one never mind have one, and the ones that do rarely appreciate what they have. People throw around the word friend like they do the word Love. They Love the person they’ve been dating for a few weeks, and everybody they meet is their friend.

Just because I know you does not mean we are friends. Just because I work with you, your are not a friend from the office. Just because we share the same bar, you are not a friend from the bar. Friendship is earned, cherished and nurtured. If I call you in the middle of the night and you help me no questions asked, you are my friend. If you hold my hand while my world falls apart, you are my friend. If you let me cry because I cannot take it anymore, you are my friend. If you think that showing up and drinking my drink and eating my food makes you a friend, reconsider. If my calls go unanswered and my cries for a sympathetic ear are answered with, “ I was too busy”, you need to reevaluate.

If you’ve lost a true friend, get them back, you have just lost a most valuable possession.



( Posted by: stoney [Member] On: July 30, 2003 )

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“pain comes with living the life of a friendly person. “ I couldn’t let that line go past without a comment. That is the truest thing I’ve heard in a long time. It is painful to put your self out there for people to find that when you are in need they don’t care. You are right, there is no way to know until the time comes, and then it is too late.

“Don't lead a casual friend to believe that you would give your life for them, and when you do find one of those rare friends for whom you would risk anything, let them know. “

That is an amazing statement. Friends are far more complicated to have than are husbands/wives/lovers and should never be treated as such. A friend is more than that, they are your safe haven, the place that you go when all else fails you. The place away from the husband/wife/lover, the place where an honest answer will be given if asked for. A true friend backs you no matter what, a true friend forgives you no matter what and a true friend will put your happiness above any selfish needs they would have themselves. A True friend is such a rare thing, some people are lucky to ever see one never mind have one, and the ones that do rarely appreciate what they have. People throw around the word friend like they do the word Love. They Love the person they’ve been dating for a few weeks, and everybody they meet is their friend.

Just because I know you does not mean we are friends. Just because I work with you, your are not a friend from the office. Just because we share the same bar, you are not a friend from the bar. Friendship is earned, cherished and nurtured. If I call you in the middle of the night and you help me no questions asked, you are my friend. If you hold my hand while my world falls apart, you are my friend. If you let me cry because I cannot take it anymore, you are my friend. If you think that showing up and drinking my drink and eating my food makes you a friend, reconsider. If my calls go unanswered and my cries for a sympathetic ear are answered with, “ I was too busy”, you need to reevaluate.

If you’ve lost a true friend, get them back, you have just lost a most valuable possession

( Posted by: stoney [Member] On: August 4, 2003 )





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