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I just checked a story about a woman who was said to have gotten blood clots from taking certain birth control pills...I checked with snopes...
and found the story to be somewhat but not all true...ALL BIRTH CONTROL PILLS can cause bad reactions...My own sister had a hysterectomy because of cancer caused by birth control pills..She was only 26 at the time and never had the joy of giving birth...
My suggestion to all you young ladies who don't want to get pregnant is KEEP YOUR UNDIES ON AND YOUR LEGS TOGETHER...Guys here's one for you too...KEEP YOUR ZIPPERS UP...SELF CONTROL IS THE BEST BIRTH CONTROL...AND IT'S HEALTHY TOO...Did that make you angry? Well, too bad...I'm tired of seeing grandmothers raising their grandchildren...They should be able to play and enjoy their beloved grandchildren and send them home with their parents when they have had enough...We raised our kids...let us rest...DO YOU THINK THIS IS A RANT? YOU BET!!!

Kacee Huggs

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The following comments are for "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?"
by Nitz Kitty

Kacee's sex talk
I couldn't agree more!
Kids seem to think birth control pills are a great answer to all kinds of questions! My 16 year old has had a terrible time with her period; her solution -from speaking with peers AND doctors: get on the pill!
I said, no, realize that the pill has really only been around for about what 30, maybe 40 years? What are the LONG term results of being on birth control(for the next 15-20 years or so?), especially when you are not needing it for preventing pregnancy?
I do believe that in many circumstances the pill is a good option, but it should not be a pat answer for all issues involving a woman's natural cycle.

Well said! So simple... until passion and coaxing interfere! (and how does being on the pill to regulate your cycle play into being more easily 'coaxed' into something you might not be ready for?)
Hopefully there are some of us who are still able to raise young men AND woman to have some self-control, and a bit of moral fiber.
Btw, I, personally, like sex and have told my kids it's a good thing that I want them to have in the best possible way- which means when they are old enough to take responsibility for what it might lead to!
Good rant, and nice to see you-

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Kacee's Rant - God Bless Grandmothers!
Well stated, Kacee. You know you are not alone. This subject has been covered recently in some news documentaries regarding the current trend in grandparents raising child. What happened to that last generation? And, yes, I can relate to it. I care for my little 5 year old grandson, and he lives with me, my husband and my son, 90% of the time, because my youngest daughter, his mother, has "various problems". I don't resent it, except when I want to have some peace and quiet time and am feeling overwhelmed, but my little grandson is such a sweet little guy that I feel privileged to be his grandmother. I was plucked away from both my grandmothers when I was very young (age 6) because my parents moved from Europe to immigrate to the US. I loved and missed my grandmothers so much. I resented my parents for having taken me away from them.

God bless grandmothers!

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Any pill will work...
...if you hold it between your knees. (Irrefutable wisdom from either Dear Abby or Ann Landers - I can never keep them straight. Also can't remember which one was Esther Pauline and which one was Pauline Esther, but they were truly Wise Women both.)

As for me, over ten years ago I decided The Pill was making me fat, so I went Old School: I use a diaphragm! (How quaint!) Just replaced it recently, and not only did none of my local drug stores have the right size in stock (and yes, they DO come in different sizes!), the pharmacist at the store that ordered it for me said she'd never seen anyone bring in a prescription for one before!

Personally, I prefer trusting physics to trusting chemistry. It may not be as convenient, but I don't have to worry about side effects!

( Posted by: LinnieRed [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Birth Control...
First of all this basically boils down to one thing IF YOU PLAY... IT IS YOU WHO MUST PAY ...Not Grandma..The girl must be willing to give up everything to raise the baby ...and Guys if you don't have the balls to step up to the plate and be a father...then be prepared to open those wallets...Babys are a wonderful precious gift...They are cute and funny ...but they also cry when they are hungry, teething (drooling and green snot coming out of their noses), they get belly aches and all kind of other childhood be ready at any hour of the night to be up and at em...and it doesn't matter if you are sick or on your period...They need you...This is the thing Monk would say...You have to be mature enough to take care of the baby you have created ...
As for single mothers and/or fathers...they deserve a medal ...My three sons (two are married) take care of their kids better than the mothers...My ex on the other hand wouldn't touch a dirty diaper...and we had the cloth kind that you had to dunk up and down in the Pampers here...Remember that all you older moms?
Too many young girls have kids knowing all to well someone else is going to be raising them...and they don't care just as long as they are having fun...
I would NEVER suggest ABORTION either...I am so pro life that doesn't come into the picture...I felt guilty when I had a miscarriage...Now I will get around to thanking people for commenting...

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Lucie-I always value your comments... you say it better than I ever could...For every action there is a consequence ...You would think that barfing up chunks for nine months and the 20 something hours of labor (some very hard) and being cut up the wazoo would stop us from wanting another baby...Some one once told me ...Every time a woman has a baby she is taken to the gates of heaven...Yes girls ...You could die...We make that sacrifice so that we can bring a child into this world...And My Darlings...that is the easy part...I think I'll rest a little now...writing this is almost like birthing something...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

The OTHER "A-word"
I am often dismayed to hear young women with an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy dismiss the idea of placing the child for adoption, protesting, "Oh! I could NEVER do that!" as if adoption were the moral equivalent of abandonment.

Oh, sure, they'll go along with the high likelihood of destroying any personal ambitions they might have had, disrupting their own lives and possibly the lives of their own parents by putting THEM in the position of rearing their child, and they'll put that child at risk of growing up deprived of either material sufficiency, familial stability, or both. But they'd never DREAM of allowing other would-be parents to give that child a chance at a better life!

My husband is second-oldest of nine adopted children of multiple races. ("Our family portrait looked like a UNICEF poster!") His parents, particularly his mother, are remarkable people. (I have the world's coolest mother-in-law!) His family has its problems and squabbles, as every family does, but I'm proud and delighted to have married into what is truly a fun and close-knit clan.

I wish young women and men considering the best road to choose to deal with an unplanned pregnancy could spend just one major holiday with this bunch. That might assure them that adoption can be the best route to a wonderful life for a child.

( Posted by: LinnieRed [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Zip it
Dear Mr.Toscano,
I dated a guy named Larry Toscano many years ago...When you write that book (I'm sure it will be a good one) let me know...I'll be first in line to have mine signed...You are one in a million.
As far as being a guy I suppose it may be harder to keep it zipped but I know it can be done...My father in many ways was an amazing man...He gave up drinking ...COLD TURKEY ...also smoking..COLD TURKEY...Mom and dad had me and my sister 17 months was tight but mom had always wanted four kids...My dad being the staunch Catholic that he was...What a rule follower !! Kept it zipped for a long time ...until he was able to afford two more kids...which was eight and ten years later...You were talking about raising your sisters...well, mom was a Bingo Freak and I carried my sister on one hip and baby brother on the other..I had to try to keep them apart ...little sister was always trying to kill baby brother...they don't get along any better now......Thanks for your comment...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Birth control pills
Thanks Elizabeth for your comment...We all know how hard it is to say NO when you THINK you're in LOVE...The guy's favorite line was "IF YOU LOVE ME YOU'LL DO IT." my answer was ,"IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WOULDN'T ASK." I went through a lot of guys in my younger years they went to girls who would...I was saving myself for something ...I didn't quite know what...I didn't have much self esteem but I had lots of self respect...
I had many period problems too...some doctors thought I might never be able to conceive ...Tilted uterus...unbelieveable cramps..I missed a whole month total out of my junior year...I had to do exercises take pain pills that would knock me out for hours...and I prayed that my uterus wasn't attached to my spine like my aunt's was...That would mean an operation I wasn't ready for...I also took a low dose birth control pill to control my periods...THEY DO NOT PREVENT PREGNANCY...I puked for 28 days ...the only relief I got was the three days a month when I had my period...I was one of the early ones...eleven years old when I became a woman...(in body only) So I had many years fighting the hormones...My sisters started at 15-16 ( they didn't fight as hard as I did)
Elizabeth...I loved sex...a wonderful experience... the coming together of two married people enjoying one another...( but that is just me) Other people may do as their conscience allows and I do not judge them...Believe me ...there were a few times I could have had affairs...but thought first ,,,how many people will this hurt? Far too many for a few moments illicit sexual pleasure...(As I said before these are rules I set for myself.) What other people chose to do is up to them...Love you my friend...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

God Bless Grandmothers
I love all my grandchildren...They crawl on me, hug me, kiss me...and I would gladly play Thomas the Tank on the floor with them...If someone would help me up later...But the raising part is just too much for this old lady (63) ...My grandson is not your normal everyday kid...He is Autistic and hyperactive...You have to watch him like a hawk and I can't get up as fast as I used to......He can sneak passed you and get into everything...He puts everything in his mouth...He eats paper, soap, plastic, erasers, wheels off cars and God only knows what else...I keep throwing toys away ...he hardly has anything left...Last year he chewed the fingers off his winter gloves...and his coat till the down was coming out...I'm just saying I wish his mother would step up to the plate and take some responsibility for the kid she gave birth to...It seems I've always had somebody elses kids at my house...Mainly because their mothers wanted to keep their houses clean so they locked the kids out of the house...This one little kid(5) would come knocking on my door asking me if I had some of those strawberries and whipped cream ...after he ate I suggested that I would walk him home ...he said he locked himself out...and I told him we would knock on the door..."Oh No! We can't wake my mom up, she had a late night and she will kill me." So there we were...
When I would go to the school for meetings ...You could hear..."Hi MOM or MRS. B" I never knew who I would find in my refrigerator when I came home from work...and many a jam session was held at my house...It was a refuge for all the unwanted kids in the neighborhood...My husband's sister's boy lived with us for awhile too...Lord, I'm tired...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Determined Penn
Like I said before ...I think all single moms and dads deserve a medal...I'm talking about the other ones who won't take responsibility for the children they birth and still profess to be a mother or father...To me that name goes to the person who takes care of and loves the child...not a person who calls and talks to the kid for 30 seconds and thinks they have done their duty as a parent...To those people my rant was written...Thanks for your input...Another thing that pisses me off is when they get government money for a kid who doesn't live with them... Yes , she has been turned in and nothing was done about it...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Pills and frills
I have a story about diaphragms also...My cousin had to have hers removed by a surgeon because it got stuck up inside her causing her to hemorrhage.
Thanks for your input ...This rant is about people who have sex get pregnant have kids and neglect them...If you don't want kids ...don't have sex...
I was getting around to Adoption but you beat me to it...Many loving couples would gladly give those sweet babes a home if they could...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Pregnant men
You are right...If men could get preggers ...there would be less children born...and they call us the weaker sex...
Sex Isn't the main subject of this rant...It's living up to your responsibilities after giving birth..too many young people are just passing the buck...
I've got something to say about men in their thirties still living with their mothers...My Uncle lived with my grandma and he supported her till she died...I myself would have been homeless if it weren't for my oldest son...I don't mind helping him watch his son...but I don't think I should be doing his birth mother's job...Can't chase kids around like I used to...thanks for the comment...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

Shame on you for turning this into a bashing on religion...I will not dignify your tirade with an answer...except for this...THERE WAS ONLY ONE JESUS and He was a Healer and a Savior not a trouble maker...Tisk tisk...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )


( Posted by: kilgoretrout [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Oh my...
des...You are right and I'm staying away from the subject...

Eric...That is ridiculous

Kilgore...I doubt that your cousin was the person we were speaking of...

Thanks to everyone for their Opinions...I also have mine...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Keeping it Real!
You have put into realistic words the basic point of the proliferation of sex ed and related actions in schools as well as the political debate of abortion. I fully agree with your argument; hopefully others will see the light soon.


( Posted by: ArsPoet2789ica [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

How you Like me NOW - Mary Joseph and the blended family dynamic
Oh, COME ON Now; the idea of GOD, father of Jesus as an absent, irresponsible father is HILARIOUS. You can see the tension between Jesus and Joseph as a grows up, telling him on several occasions, "you can't tell me what to do, you're not my FATHER"... I see scenes of Mary and Joseph arguing over bills, with Joseph saying, "He doesn't pay child support, but I STILL have to pay Tithes; How FAIR is THAT?"

Even better, every time Mary "prays" Joseph accuses her of being too close to her ex". He basically suspects her of infidelity. "Oh sure, you say you were talking to yourself, but you were on your knees for HIM, weren't you!?!?!"

The places you could go with that are endless.

I should stop now... This is bad, Really BAD...

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

abstinence makes the heart grow fonder…?
true that abstinence is the only hundred percent reliable way most young people have of avoiding unwanted pregnancies, and it would be great if we lived in a world that raised scrupulously socially responsible kids… but we don’t... precious few make it as far as being socially responsible adults! I believe the best we can do for them is tell them these are your choices and these are the dangers… schools should offer full and frank advice about sex, about methods of contraception so as the kids can make- if not a responsible decision- at least an informed one… I think to push abstinence as the ONLY option is perhaps unrealistic, but I do think it should be held in higher esteem and more consideration given to it… I also think more time and energy needs to be spent teaching young girls to value themselves, their virginity and their futures… giving girls their self-respect, empowering them and teaching them that it’s okay to say no is important, I think… equally important is teaching young men to respect them and in instilling in both, from the outset, a sense of wider social responsibility and morality of which sex is only a small part…

as for taking responsibility for your own actions, Kacee, I couldn’t agree more. it should apply to all areas of life, but to child birth and child rearing most of all, because there are other lives involved, and vulnerable ones at that…

thanks for this thought-provoking rant, Kacee, and getting us all talking.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Keeping to the subject matter
Aubri and Shannon,

I realize society isn't perfect...I am the least perfect of all but I have always taken responsibility for my actions...

I think parents should provide a good foundation for the kids at home...and the schools should do more than hand the kids condoms and tell them to have a go at it...

I think you are right Shannon...self esteem and self respect play a big part in the it's ok to say NO ...and NO does mean NO...policy... Just because everybody is doing it doesn't make it right...I remember my mom asking me ,"If all your friends jumped off a cliff ...Would you?" No, I would say, " I'll miss you, my friends"

A special thanks to you two...for keeping to the subject matter...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

birth control - a serious comment
In sticking with the subject, let me just say this -

I'm a happily married father of five - and as far as I can tell my wife's pretty happy too. A healthy, robust sex life is a small, but integral part of that happiness. In this context, birth control is a life saver. After nearly 13 years of being together, learning each other, knowing each other, we can now truly enjoy each in ways that only come with time and patience. As wonderful as these experiences are, part of what makes them so pleasurable is that we (two consenting, married adults) don't have to worry so much about an unplanned pregnancy.

Now - unless your religion or faith has some prohibition against contraception, why would my wife need to keep her legs closed? Why would I need to keep my fly zipped? Why would I ever seriously consider abstinence as an option? I wouldn't...

With respect to your comment about grandmothers raising grandchildren, I just have to wonder - if a woman raises her own kids, to be respectful of themselves and others; if she teaches them to be loving and responsible, if she instills positive values in them - then how do so many these kids who were brought up "right" wind up so wrong. Perhaps some of these grandmothers are stuck raising their grandkids because they didn't do a very good job in raising their kids. Maybe they'll get it right the second time around.

Too often we want to blame society as a whole, without acknowledging that WE ARE THAT SOCIETY. A SOCIETY is not an abstract idea; it's the people that live in a community, and societal norms are set by these people. Kids in a society with a warped sense of values and no sense of responsibility are products of that society.

Your rant, and most of the comments about it speak to symptoms of a larger problem. Birth control, abstinence, are just a couple of ways to deal with the symptoms. Many folks touched on the idea that values are slipping - but if we're dealing with a generation that has lost it's way, at some point you have to look to the folks who were charged with guiding them along life’s journey. If you’re kid has lost his or her way, it’s basically your fault; and if it isn’t your fault it certainly isn’t mine. At the very least, even if it isn’t your fault, it’s your responsibility. If more parents thought that way as individuals, we’d see a sea change in our SOCIETY as a whole.

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

I am not amused
Your dialog is about as funny as road kill...Now if you want to start your own thread and voice your opinion on religion , go for it...I'm sure you will have many visitors...but stick a fork in me...I'm done...This is my thread and I would appreciate some respect for my beliefs...I don't attack yours...Thank you...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Sorry for offending Kacee
Kacee -

In your talking about your not being amused, I'm assuming that you're talking about the "Jesus as an abandoned child" post -

Based on your post alone, I have no way of knowing anything about your religious beliefs, so I couldn't attack them.

My post was meant to be funny; a further take on the post by Eric/Fairplay.

If my sense of humor offended you, I apologize. I suspect that your being offended has more to do with my not taking your post as seriously as you would've liked. Because it was presented as a RANT, and not an serious opinion, I didn't think I had to take it too seriously. I took it as a light/snapshot look at a serious subject, and I responded in that spirit. I see now that I was wrong.
Also -

It should be noted, that some quite a few people think roadkill is very funny too.

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Can't we all just get along?
This doesn't have anything to do with being married or not... It is taking responsibility for the children YOU bring into this world...

My son is taking his ...and without him I would be homeless...It is my grandson's mother I am ranting about ...she takes government money for him and he lives with us...and she spends it on crack and booze...

I never professed to being the perfect mother...child rearing in it self is a trial and error process...We can only give the best example we can to our kids...As we all know you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink...Everyone has their own choices to make...If they make the wrong's on them and they must suffer the consequences ...that is where the IF YOU PLAY YOU MUST PAY comes in...

I myself cry when I see a dead creature on the highway...(but that's just me)

Your apology is accepted with no hard feelings...My goal is to get along with everyone...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Kacee - abstinence in MARRIAGE?
It has to do with being married in that you can't tell a married woman to "keep her undies on or her legs together". I suppose it might be good advice for a single girl or even a single woman - but sex as a part of marriage is to be expected, so that advice just doesn't ring true.

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )

Rants for Dummies
Eric and Bob,
Ya just can't let it alone...If you both actually READ my rant and not just what you wanted to see...You would see what I was trying to get across...I was speaking to the young ladies who lay with a bunch of men ...then act all surprised when they get pregnant...and don't even know who the daddy is... and can't find one who will step up to the plate to be a father...I said nothing about married couples not having sex...Where did you get that? Maybe when I said my father abstained when he didn't want to have children...The rhythm method was the only way you could prevent pregnancy (Catholic Rules) ...which meant watching the woman's cycles which almost always ended in having babies...because the cycles
were never exact...Using a condom was considered a sin of murder because you were preventing some child from being conceived ...(NOT MY RULES) I haven't been a Catholic in many years and some rules have changed but I don't know which ones...nor do I care.

By the way, Eric, I'm 63...and I have not seen or done it all...I was never into drugs or never once have I drunk myself into a stupor ( I shut myself off at two)...I never had a cigarette...even when all the other kids were doing it...I didn't have to be like the other kids ..Nor did I care to fit in... I had lots of guys wanting what I had and I didn't give it away (even when I had no dangly parts...) Guess what Eric. ...with all my dangly parts( which are no concern of yours) there are still a few guys who wouldn't mind playing slap and tickle with me...but I have decided to stay
sex free...because I want to...Since I'm done with childbearing...
I could flip and flop all over the house with some old codger if I wanted to...but I choose not to...(that is just me...)

When you were young and feeling your oats...I hope you had the decency to take care of the little shoots you created (if any)...that is what this rant is many times must I say it before you get it...I don't care who or what you screwed during your life but if it had a litter I hope you got the pups all their shots...

I didn't think that was very nice of you to make fun of my old body...I suppose that was the only way you could think to hurt me...didn't work...but it still wasn't nice...Done, Done, Done

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 17, 2007 )


YET, You make me laugh...and when I need your help to make my boring rant interesting, I'll ask ya...

I'm not ashamed of my age as some are...Thank you to Pen for BUSTING the porky pie...

SOMEONE better protect his private parts from the fire...LIAR, LIAR...THERE GO HIS PANTS ...UP IN FLAMES...

I never said anything about shooting pups...there you go again reading something that isn't there...I said I hope you got the pups their shots...

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 18, 2007 )

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