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Sick thing is that i have to and need self destruction. i need my low confidence back. Please.... This isnt me. i was never confident my entire life. i developed a life of thinking, educatiing, dreaming, buying groceries and even socializing being with no confidence, no self esteem. the white trash plaque. the burn out syndrome. what people call it. things are happening to me and im completely emotionless, uneffected, numb i cannot feel pain like i use to. the emotion vanished, Hello self? where did my pain go. i have grew confidence of my self, and the pain has left me. what the fu*k? my sensitivity has burned up and crystalized to a pulp. im unsure how to approach this feeling. i feel empty inside. its pathetic that the only emotion alive in me was pain. i have no hatered, no fear, no reactions. simply lowerd myself somehow into a coma. i know this is not me, help me Christopher. wake up and react and let inspiration come. im alone. alone with my life, no one shares my views and now as i feel as an alien i have pissed my education to the streets of this city. many humans piss this away on a daily base. im pathetic with this writing. theres no talent to a person who needs nothing or anything to exist. completely alone. i said it again. whats my promblem, no education or will to memorize. i cannot recall thoughts or information. the emptyness is that strong. kill me now if......if.....if....the humans plaqued word. the power of it. the greatness and persuassion it beholds opon the brain.
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