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I am your scarlet laced scarf
Especially made for you
From the gentlest threads
Man can make

When is the time
To wrap me around
And keep you warm

While the leaves blow
From the trees
And the sun’s rays
Say goodnight before
We make it home from work

When is the time
I will lie close to your heart
And hear it beating softly
Not broken anymore

These leaves won’t fall
From the trees forever
The seasons are numbered
And the bees won’t return

I need to keep you safe

So take me off the shelf
Wrap me up tight
And we’ll watch the leaves
Change and fall to the earth

This is going to be published in i would really appreciate any suggestions!!!
thank you

"Soul of my soul of the soul of a hundred universes,
be water in this now-river, so jasmine flowers
will lift on the brim, and someone far off
can notice the flower-colors and know
there's water here."

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The following comments are for "Scarlet Laced"
by IcicleIcicle

Scarled Laced
I feel that you are saying want to be there for someone help them through a tough time...Hope they appreciate you...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: September 15, 2007 )

Scarlet Laced
this is beautifully warm, feel wrapped up in this poem, comforted...

I like the idea that a scarf would need to be wrapped up too...

I'm afraid my suggestions are of the rather minor nit-picking kind, but I'd lose the "To" from the second stanza and perhaps a full stop at the end of the fourth, where the focus of the poem changes... other than that, this is lovely. congratulations on its going in to print.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 15, 2007 )

Scarlet Laced
A very eloquent entreat. If the poem were directed at me I'd find it hard to refuse those gentle threads.

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: September 15, 2007 )

Thank you
thank you for responding everyone!
to answer your question Francisco it is being printed in my college newspaper....and my style of writing is really personal so it's hard for me to tell if it is appropriate for the newspaper.
and i agree, guys dont usually wear scarves, but the piece originally began from a guy's perspective...and then it took on a more feminine feel to it...
it's very bizarre...i was just trying to make it seasonal really

but thank you again
now i feel confident in having it printed!

( Posted by: IcicleIcicle [Member] On: September 16, 2007 )

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