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The Young Man at the Edge of Time
By Kevin Limiti

A young man sits at the edge of time his feet dangling off its slippery edges, blackness surrounding him.

“Excuse me, sir,” says a voice.

The young man turns toward the noise and is startled to see a boy standing alone in the darkness. The young man says to the boy, “What’s up.”

“Nothing much.” They watch either on silence for a moment. Then the boy says, “What are you doing up there?”

“I’m waiting for a friend.”

“Oh,” says the boy. The boy continues to stare at the young man as though entranced. “What’s your friend’s name?” he asks.

“Ralph.”

The boy gasps loudly. The young man is startled and grabs onto an invisible object for support, asking, “What’s the matter?”

The boy replies, “I don’t think your friend is coming.”

Suddenly a door appears behind him. The young man stands up, knowing that his friend is in the darkness, but knowing also that he is not ready to face the darkness. “Thank you,” he says to the boy.

Slowly the young man climbs up the stairs and, reaching the top, he opens the door.

There stands an old, weathered man, with a top hat and suit. The old man smiles and puts out his hand. “Welcome back, Ralph.”


------
Insert amusing anecdote here.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Young Man at the Edge of Time"
by FinnMacCool

Suggestion
Kevin --

This is somewhat of an existential piece, so don't be afraid to strip it down to basics -- an economy of words (write it over and over until you have the fewest words possible) contributes to mood.

As an example:

A young man sits at the edge of time, feet dangling over slippery edges. Around him, blackness.

Suddenly, “Excuse me." A voice from the void.

Turning, startled, he sees a boy alone.

“What’s up?”

“Not much.” Disoriented.

Silence extends, lengthens.

Finally, “What are you doing up there?”

“Waiting -- for a friend.”


( Posted by: bish8 [Member] On: August 21, 2007 )

I like
the twists and turns in this... I like this because the image I have of eternity here takes place on a Escher-like staircase....

a friend of mine has a saying that time is just a concept for people who can't get their heads round infinity... reminded me of this too... which I liked...

thanks for the head-bending.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: August 22, 2007 )

Kevin's "Young Man At The Edge Of Time"
This is creepy good. I loved it. Come on back soon and give us some more of your writings!

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: August 22, 2007 )

Thank you all
for the nice critiques, especially you Mr. Bish. You didn't offend me at all, in fact your critique is exactly the kind of comments i'm looking for. thank you again.

( Posted by: FinnMacCool [Member] On: August 23, 2007 )





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