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It was a usual night at the house of pain. The late night screaming has almost become a quite song for me to fall asleep to. Five a.m. has come and went, I only have two hours to get a restful night sleep and return to my meaningless job at the bank. Sometimes I wonder why I bother waking up at all. I have been designated the driver in this house. Even when all is sober, they still speed through yellow lights, just missing accident after accident. I know one day there will be another car right there to smash into them. My position? The glue to hold everyone together after the accident has occured. I just take orders, write a mental note, and follow through with whatever will keep the noises quiet inside and out. But there is another place of danger and stress waiting for me after the storm quiets here.
The second home, the one I created and the one that is destroying me the fastest. I can go into the kitchen of my other hell and know that I can get out when I need to, but that just leads me back to this place. There is a sick soul here, reaching inside of me and pulling out all that I am. A dictator by nature, a servant of all that is black and vile. I am forced to lay beside him as he breathes cold air onto my face. If it wasn't for the spawns I wouldn't have ever set foot in this sad house. Addictions and anger, turning to lies and violence. A story I know all to well, but one that I am helpless to escape. I attact the weak, I am the only thing that refuses to give up. Little do they know that I am also weak, wondering when the straw will break and I fall hopelessly into the pit of complete insanity.
For tonight I will rest my head, sleep on the edge of the bed, one eye slightly opened. I will pray to whom ever will listen and hope that I will find the right path in life. Dreams are so sweet. They are the only fragment of hope I have left to guide me into a lighter place, a vacant island. The warm sunlight on my cheek, and the cool ocean waves brushing past my feet. Someday I will find my island and for tonight, I will dream it into life. Goodnight.

------
krazi-Renee


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The following comments are for "Insanity/Tranquility"
by krazirenee





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