A Day of Change
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As you get older you begin to no longer see individual faces you see instead the same faces on different people. You begin to notice how everyone looks and acts the same. Then you begin to crave change, change in faces, and variance in your day to day life. You can visit Rome, Paris, or Istanbul and see a different language, a different appearance, yet still walk around in a subdued amazement at each country's wonders. You go to Rome because it is famous and to see the grand ruins such as the Coliseum and you go to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, but why do you actually go? Is it so that you can say, that you were there, and that you a mere mortal stood under this opulent wonder. Is it that we crave to see and breathe history. We want to touch history with our greasy hands, we want to take pictures in front of them as the locals laugh at us, after all they see it everyday.
Since I was a child history and archeology has amazed me. It is amazing to dig up the past and discover how open minded some cultures were while some were so restricted. Pompeii for instance was sexual expressive in the paintings in their homes. The Romans were also, yet we are taught to be ashamed of it and hide our desire. How can our ancestors be so progressive yet we are behind? For a woman to desire sex now it is looked down upon as if we are the pawn of mans desire only. We have needs, we have desires my friends. If a man could get pregnant then we would definitely see them lined up at the welfare line also with their three kids and one on the way. Yet evolution gave us the women the duty of bearing the weight of the world. While the men claim it. Evolution blessed men with strength and a will to work and support his family. Evolution blessed women with the emotional makeup to raise children and a husband to be all that they can be, while she is left to deny herself of education in some countries and freedom as the man controls her. Occasionally you will see in the news where a man as killed his successful wife, because A: She was more successful than him. B: Because he could not control her. C: Because he was jealous, because as man he expects to support the household and his wife to sit at home and wait on him hand and foot.
Maybe I am being a little feministic, but you know the truth sometimes hurts.
To women I say that it is ok to:
1. Want it all and more
2. Not have children
3. Want sex a lot or not at all
4. Be successful and get an education
5. Have your own money and a lot of it
6. Stay single or marry
7. Expect your man or lover to treat you with respect
8. Ask questions to figure someone out
You have heard that money won't make you happy, but I say that is a lie. Money will make you happy. Another saying is "Better to be rich and sad than sad and poor." In the words of poet Langston Hughes
It is such a
I can absolutely support this, because I am poor myself. We get Food Stamps and my children all have Medicaid. My husband a man with a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration cannot find a job worthy of his degree in this area so he has to work in manual labor at a sausage plant. He is slowly rising in the ranks there, so maybe he will pull us out of this poverty state, while I attend the local community college seeking my degree for a transfer to the local university to study none other than Broadcasting. I love films and talk radio. I love art and music. I would love to work at a television or radio station. I got a late start at college because I was one of those teenage mothers back in 1995, I was 15 when I welcomed my first born into this world. I married his dad then, but we divorced because he had an affair while working at a restaurant. I guess that we both so young and unprepared for marriage. At least I can paint the girls name that he had the affair with into my stories she can be the sinister tyrant. I never got to meet this woman, I was pregnant then when he cheated. Now I am so jealous of my current husband I am so afraid that he will cheat that I check everything of his, his phone records, receipts and question him about his day as if I were an investigator. Maybe I should have been. Maybe diving into other peoples personal effects would make me lay off him. If I try to tell myself that he is not cheating then I have detailed dreams about him cheating. It's a sad cycle, which may lead to divorce. Maybe my intuitions are correct because sites for those looking for one night stands keep popping up. Maybe he is looking for a quickie with someone, if so then why is he married to me? Why do men want a lover as well as a wife? If he wants a lover then I do also. Equal opportunity my friends. I wish that he loved me enough so that he did not have to do those things. Do you know what I mean? Of course you do my loyal readers. Marriage is a confusing street with many turns, in the beginning this street of Marriage looks beautiful with nice sidewalks and flowers abound, but then as you journey further down, it becomes dark and lonely, the streets become filled with trash, you become scared of the next turn. Then you come upon a hill and there lies two paths, which do you chose? One will take you to the end of the road and the end of your marriage, and the other path will take you to couples counseling, both are scary, but which will make you and your spouse of so many years or months happy? It is up to you my friends, for I can only show you the road, you must journey down it yourself alone.
As you know love is quirky. Every relationship has different facets that one comes to know, that even the counselors at Safeplace (a place for abused women) can not understand, why you go back after he calls you a bitch and stupid and he abuses you physically. Why do we go back to these jerks? Why not leave? The answer is that it is so hard to leave, and it is easier to get abused and have a home then struggle on our own, but women I say that we must at least try to leave when we have the chance, we deserve better, or none. We deserve to be loved and love ourselves more then we love our men. We should come first. Look out for #1 which is you.
This is all for today my friends I will write more later.
Love your friend,
Cynthia R. Yildirim
*~Love is the hidden element~*
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