Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Your cold breath upon me
has left me stale
What was my mistake
that led us to fail?

Did I guide you
to trip over my feet?
Or was the hill
we were climbing
just way too steep?

I never knew of your wound
that needed to be licked
I was too worried about
fetching your beating stick

It was from the disgusted
look on your face
that left me feeling
way out of place

A wandering soul
is what you led me to be
Lost in the woods
was the only way
to be free
because, your choking collar
was starting
to strangle me

Related Items


The following comments are for "Out of place"
by BobT

Wow, I am almost at a loss for words. I like this, it flowed nice and it gave some great insight into what I gathered to be a doomed relationship, good work!

( Posted by: kraziRenee [Member] On: June 2, 2007 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.