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...As if to say that this is what's Important?
As if it is implied it's all there is...
She took her little world oh, so, for granted,
and never ever looked at the abyss.

He walked into the room that way on purpose,
looking for a reason to ignore,
Christ, Jack, you were always so impatient.
And now it's really nothing but a bore.

She laughed too loud hoping for attention.
but no-one really seemed to understand.
So she plunged off in the other direction,
Looking for a good-time kind of man.

And here he comes, Fuck this is perfection!
You can almost see dark things rubbing their hands,
A vacant little thing full of rejection,
and one half crazed coked up good-time man!

But she may never leave, their lies entwining,
wrap round their hearts and strengthen darker things.
And any child that lives will be forgotten.
confused, alone, and hurt; that sort of thing.

but one lone night they started their rebellion.
and found each other there along the way.
Just two lost souls, their dreams all but forgotten.
wandering around losing the way.

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The following comments are for "Shadows"
by wally 5

dynamic and dramatic poem, this. the characters, their personalities and voices really come out, with a cinematic quality. I like the fact that they find a kind of redemption in each other... not goodness but togetherness. a nice human touch. enjoyed.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: May 31, 2007 )

Wally's World
Really nifty work you've penned here. I really enjoyed the rhyme and meter of it, almost limerick in style. It was funny and sad at the same time, like a teary eyed wink. Looking for more.


( Posted by: williamhill [Member] On: June 2, 2007 )

Wally's Return
Always a pleasure to read your work, Wally. I'm pleased to see you've been so productive recently, though this is darker than your work usually is (or so my memory tells me. Could be wrong, there).

The material suits you still, and AMG is right -- there's some triumph and satisfaction found in here, amongst the shadows and futile pursuits of unworthy goals. A messy affair, and I'm not sure what to make of these two. I suppose I'm happy for them, though I sense disaster looming.

I hope you keep up the pace -- partly because I like reading your stuff and partly because I'm hoping your work will help stir my own creative juices!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: June 2, 2007 )

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