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A single tear forms near the corner of my left eye, but doesn't yet fall.
It holds within it everything I have ever felt and known up until this moment.
It holds the very love I hold so dear to my heart that once beat constant.
It holds my very self.
I become the tear, clutching onto the duct that I was created in ever so tightly, knowing that if I let go I will endlessly decline into darkness.
A faint vibration is discovered in my ear drums.
The rhythmic pattern traverses the synapse that leads to the core of my brain.
Quickly the resonance is decoded.
A collection of vocal expressions are revealed.
They echo through my very being, making my knees grow weak.
My chest writhes; my skin shivers.
"I'm walking out of your life."
I fall.

"Never give up!"

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The following comments are for "The End"
by JoeyB

The End
there are bits of this I really like. the fine detail lends an air of authenticity and genuineness. I like, for example, that the tear forms at the corner of left eye particularly, and how each moment in dissected to minute particulars, down to the level of physical sensation... enjoyed it's exactness...

I think this could really benefit from some prudent line breaks and trimming, to quicken the pace and engage the reader. other than that, an interesting poem, look forward to reading more from you.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: May 31, 2007 )

Thanks much for your comments and suggestion.

It's a true event, written just after I had made my first terrible mistake in the arena of love. Now, six years later, that person has entered my life again, which made me want to post it. Let's just hope I don't need to write anymore poems like this, though!

( Posted by: JoeyB [Member] On: June 1, 2007 )

The End
A compelling poem . . . you captured the essence of heartbreak, but, i think you could get rid of a few wordy lines here and there and you would have a really good poem. LOL

( Posted by: eleda [Member] On: June 7, 2007 )

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