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Just like eggshells
in the seaís palm
feel safe -
when your lecherous hand
grasps mine,
I do.

White pillows lay plump
impregnated with metal,
and as you kiss my neck,
Iím smitten.

The condensation
on our crisp windows
remind me of us,
and how you make me feel.

And as my scattered curls
rest limp on the sheets,
my dignity stays behind
with loyalty.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Smitten"
by silverscent

Smitten
I really liked the beginning of this poem although I thought the ending was a bit weak.

Overall, a decent poem. I've gone back and read a few of your earlier posts. "Newspaper Snippet," "New Moon in a Fruit Bowl," and "Typerwriter." I like how your poems translate the mood and feeling of a place or space, and they have a touch of quirkiness that I like.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: May 19, 2007 )

With Gomar
I'm with Gomar in that I enjoyed it till the last stanza. Your metaphors in the first three stanzas are sublime!

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: May 24, 2007 )





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