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9.5

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10Teflon
9VickieSALT

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Otherwise Occupied



I on a sidewalk
A story below
Saw Morton salt
On a shelf
And a vision that
In another room
Pee intermingled
Sweetly in a bowl

Mary
With whom I always walk
Had allowed all this to
Slip by her
Concerned as she was
With crosswalks and cars





------
johnlovejr at hotmail dot com


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Comments

The following comments are for "Otherwise Occupied"
by Flonigus

crosswalks and cars
And there in most likely lies what separates the poetic brain from every other kind… this story is familiar to me, me and my easily distracted, off-at-a-tangent tendencies. I’d be the one staring at Morton salt and envisioning pee, while it’s left to whichever poor sod I happen to be with at the time to prevent me from being mowed down by a bus or walking in to a lamppost… it occurs to me this isn’t necessarily anything to be proud of ;)

apologies, rambling, liked this poem, it’s nice understated summing up of poet’s scatter-brained lot… also a sweet testament to the importance of Mary… I think.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: March 13, 2007 )

Thank you, Shannon,
for the reading and comments.

Mary enjoyed your final observation, especially.

I continue to enjoy your superb writing, and apologise for the paucity of my comments there. You deliver so much fresh and natural metaphor that I am left feeling as if I have discovered new flora in the old woods.

~ John

( Posted by: Flonigus [Member] On: March 13, 2007 )

that GB factor again!
I was reading - and saw the word SALT, and it made me breathe hard, and the whole nebulous, over-allusioned narrative had the sensuous effect on me, - if I were by your side, i would come to you, get on my knees and ask shamelessly for the most delicious... things!

goosebumps of eminence!

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 13, 2011 )





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