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I sat on the floor thinking.
thinking of the things I saw and did not like.
I became irritated.
all of my emotions were taking over me.
if I wanted to talk about it.
I just sat there wondering if my fears were becoming true.
after being reassured,
I felt a little relief and happiness.
happy that my love would not betray me.
I was still a little uneasy.
all because I felt that my friend would.
maybe I am wrong and this is a test.
I would surely like to think so.
I would be upset, angry, or whatever bad feeling there is.
I would not be able to get over it.
is that if you love someone or something; you would embrace it.
you would want to protect it and know that no one would take it.
Fate has her own way of doing things.
changing plans to the unplanned and vice versa.
honestly sit here and be okay if my fears were true?
certainly not; I would truly be devastated.
would surely overcome me as I know it.
something I would not be able to recover from.
life is life,
I would usually say if things did not work out.
But, that does not apply to my love for someone.
I confronted my love with tears about my fear.
as I said, he reassured me that there was nothing to worry about.
I needed to hear him say it.
my eyes and ears are still paying attention.
I must admit,
I am not a jealous girl, but I am scared.
hating that I feel like I must compete for him.
I love him with everything I got.
he is my sun and moon; my night and day.
here I am,
writing about what I am afraid of.
let's just hope that I am overreacting or that I am dreaming.
Erica R. Lindsey aka Windsong [got married in '08]