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In a comment for her poem "Dream-Cloud" Tina Louise wrote this:
...Amelia and I have just got up after she held open my eyelids and announced "Ramma...all done sleep....downstairs now". Getting up with her is such a joy as she is full conversation in the morning and at this moment is standing staring out the open back door catching September rain in a small plastic cup. Life is perfect...

The next day Chianadoll wrote "Sterling from flesh", a few lines from that poem:

...I don’t think I can do this
But they’re all telling me
Yes, yes, and he’s saying
Please, please, don’t keep it...

...It’s not a monster it’s not
An abomination
It may have been a mistake but
God damn it, it’s alive...

This was my emotional response to the contrast between the two. It is not a political statement and any name calling is not intended to be personalized but rather express my anger. And thus the name:

Angry Lament

God damn the arrogant selfish boar
That plants his seed in the loose legged whore
Then has the audacity to beg and plead
That the unborn child is a God damn weed

God bless the innocents we have not known
I pray in heaven they surround God's throne
And may these lambs, the brightest lights
Guide us sinners through our darkest nights

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The following comments are for "Angry Lament (Profanity)"
by JackGrady

Angry Lament
always interesting to get an insight in to what gives rise to a poem, so thank you for sharing the influences and inspirations that brought about this one…

personally I’d have said “God help” much as “God Damn”, but as an expression of anger the first four lines are eloquent… the second stanza convinces less, perhaps, possibly ‘cause it pales in comparison to the intensity of the first… for me at least…

Difficult subject, this. I think handled with raw emotion, though not entirely sensitivity… Course, the arrogant bastard and the “loose legged whore” are illustrative examples, there are a million shades of human grey between them, where anger is not so easy to place, and that is a more difficult poem yet…

Food for thought, thanks for this


( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: February 21, 2007 )

Thanks for your critique
I appreciate your thoughtful critique. You are absolutely correct this was a very simple myopic view of a very complex subject. The arrogant boar and loose legged whore were one dimensional characters used to direct rage towards over the loss of an innocent child. Meghan's poem "Sterling from Flesh" creates a multidimensional character that is quite frankly beyond my ability to create at this time. I'm reading everyones work and learning however and sometime in the future might well accept your challenge to create a more robust poem that explores all the subtle shades of the issue and includes more life like characters. Thanks again for your helpful comments.

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: February 22, 2007 )

Long overdue...
Never saw this until now. Probably a good thing that I didn't back then, for obvious reasons, but nonetheless...

In your response to Shannon's critique, you said:

"I'm reading everyones work and learning however and sometime in the future might well accept your challenge to create a more robust poem that explores all the subtle shades of the issue and includes more life like characters"

While I applaud your desire to strive and reach and learn and improve, when it comes to 'the issue' as such I find nothing lacking in your poem.

Just as many poems are and should be, what you wrote came from the heart and was not intended (I think) to illustrate the thoughts/feelings/perspectives/etc. of the boar or the whore.

You were not, in my opinion, painting a picture of characters that demand thoughtful intricacies or depths of shading; you were baring thought, purging anger at injustice, speaking your mind in the broad stroke of abstract rather than the finer point of detail.

If that metaphor makes sense. It is late.

Thank you for this unflinching write.

And if you only knew how often I have been tempted to turn to a God whom I thought cradled my lost innocent. And innocence.

With love,

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: October 4, 2007 )

Meghan, thank you so very much for understanding. I've been so worried that I offended or worse yet hurt you. Thanks a thousand times for your feedback it's lifted a load off my conscience. While it might have been an unflinching write it'll be a cold day in hell when I try that again!

My best wishes always,

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: February 19, 2008 )

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