Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

part 1.
You- barefoot, statuesque
more alive.
I hear your blood thumping and
have to kiss your lips.

part 2.
Morning- you've woken me
phone calls after sex
greet me with
hips swaying and eyes of friendship.

------
someday could be today...





Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "freyja's love poem"
by ruina

Freyja
Confounded by the structure, but with a little rearrangement all is well. I like the first part more than the second: its the open fever it describes.
Siah.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: January 27, 2007 )

Norses for courses (?)
I'm a sucker for symmetry, so I'd like to see this next to your "freyja's attempt at death".

couldn't help but thinking of Freyja from Norse mythology, which added to the ethereal feel of this, to me at least.

there are both intense and sultry elements here, sensual and very much alive.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: January 27, 2007 )

norses
well, Freyja is a sultry, sensual, etheral, intense person. so i wanted that feeling to the poem.

and i wish this and freyja's attempt at death were together, too! i tried to do it, but i would have had to unpublish and republish too many things...

( Posted by: ruina [Member] On: February 5, 2007 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: