Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
9johnjohndoe

You must login to vote

President Bush, during his State of the Union speech, outlined a strategy to reduce U.S. dependence on imported oil for its energy needs. The following are excerpts from that speech.

“Anybody familiar with the history of NASCAR knows that its roots lie in the running of moonshine, illegal whiskey of nearly pure ethyl alcohol content- that is, ethanol. These bootleggers- they were called bootleggers because they pulled themselves up by their own bootlegs- it was hard work, even ‘though it wasn’t honest work, but you’d have to ask Ted Kennedy about that- my family made my money honestly in oil and arms deals- well, they would use “souped-up” cars; their performance boosted in various ways, to evade and outrun the “revenoors”- federal ATF officials- as well as local authorities in order to deliver their illicit- which means illegal- “white lightning” to a thirsty public. I know what it’s like to be thirsty in public. Both before and after Prohibition a significant segment of the drinking public has shown a preference for this “down home” intoxicant- that means it’ll get you drunk.

These daredevil drivers began racing for bragging rights. These informal races gradually grew more organized, eventually leading to the creation of NASCAR.

I have made mistakes in the past regarding energy policy. Once Laura offered me a hummer, but I didn't think that a president should be seen driving a military-style gas guzzler.

Now is the time for NASCAR, an American institution, to return to its ethanol roots while at the same time helping the U.S. to achieve energy independence. Who knows better than the grand pappies of these drivers how to quickly distill a batch of pure ethyl? NASCAR should immediately switch to ethanol fuel, which each team would be required to produce for its own use. Each team would be permitted to consume any leftover “fuel” at the end of the race, thereby encouraging both greater production of fuel and greater fuel efficiency. Beer-making team sponsors would likely oppose such a move, but encouraging sponsorship by manufacturers of liver medications and operators of rehab clinics could offset these losses.

These wise and wizened elders of ethanol production could contribute significantly to America’s energy independence. “




------


"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson




"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
- Bilbo Baggins













Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Fast Ethyl- NASCAR Groupie?"
by drsoos

I expected yaminals
...not that I'm complaining, it raised a smile, did this, which, on a day like today, is no small achievement. a mixture of satire and inspired silliness...

"Beer-making team sponsors would likely oppose such a move, but encouraging sponsorship by manufacturers of liver medications and operators of rehab clinics could offset these losses." is laugh out loud funny.

thanks for this.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: February 2, 2007 )

amg- Yam bam thank you ma'am
I've been rethinking the "yaminals" thing. I want to get it right. I can imagine many different ways that the story could go. In my previous fictions, I just sort of plunged in without a solid idea of an ending, or even a plot.

ie "Doggerel Show"- I was inspired by discussion of "what is haiku?"

"Doggerel Tails"- I was driven to use the phrase- "Your Honor, I move that the mule be declared a stubborn witness", my reply to a comment on "Doggerel Show".

I want to have an outline for the "yaminals" thing, even if only in my head, before continuing; or more likely re-beginning.

Thank you so much for the feeling that it's worth chasing "yaminals".

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: February 2, 2007 )

Ethonal and Pace cars
I like it. I have to go back and read the other offerings that led to this, but I'm sure thay will be amusing, with a touch of bitter truth. You do this genre very well.

best to you, Soos-
Elizabeth

p.s. I have a 1980 Indy pace car t.a. that I'm restoring. -should probably look into making her green- she may be a guzzler but she sure is pretty...

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: February 3, 2007 )

ethanol
ethanol- I think that's the right way to spell it?
-E

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: February 3, 2007 )

emaks, Ethyl, NASCAR, and so much more!
Elizabeth- Thank you for reading and commenting. Good luck with the classic car restoration. I hope you have deep pockets and automotive mechanically-minded friends.

The previous stories I mentioned have nothing to do with this "offering". I mentioned them as fiction I simply plunged into with a vague at best idea of the direction the story would take, let alone how it would end (probably with a period).

I have found that the "yaminals" thing requires a bit more forethought as to where it's heading before I continue. The future is difficult to fathom- Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now?

China has plans to land taikonauts (or yuhangyuan- as if the terms astronaut and cosmonaut were not sufficiently divergent terminology) on Earth's moon by 2017. I would not be surprised if China claimed a piece of Earth's moon as Chinese territory, attempting an extended stay as justification. China also has recently successfully demonstrated an ability to destroy space sattelites, destroying one of their own obsolete orbiters. This directly threatens U.S. dependence on GPS resources for military purposes.

A new space race, this time to Mars, seems probable, if not inevitable; as well as the militarization of Earth's orbital space. The idea that space should be free to all begins to seem as anachronistic and naive as the idea of the computing pioneers that information should be free. Information is a commodity and outer space is a battleground- sooner or later.

All of this relates, more or less, to my "Yaminals" SciFi, to which AuldMiseryGuts alluded.

I tend to digress.

None of the other articles relates to this one. However, I never publish anything that I don't feel is worth reading, especially if I plug it again, like now. Actually, this NASCAR/Bush piece was an offhand thing to keep writing while I was thinking/blocked on the "yaminals" adventure. I think that most readers will enjoy almost everything I have published, all modesty aside. Thanks again for reading and commenting.

s

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: February 6, 2007 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: