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with some chicks you never know. had betty been ritually circumcised by a brutal gang of congolese apostate nuns, as she claimed, or was i just doing it wrong? i'd certainly never gotten a paper cut eating pussy before, and i was concerned. my pastor would not counsel me, nor would mom or her current lesbian lover, phreddie. phred sneered at me and called me a bumfurrow. well, fuck her, the gaping twit. i told mom i was going to go to the kitchen and do the dishes, which i did thank you very much, and then i pissed in the chardonnay. mom drinks merlot, but fuck her too.
it's not like i'm bitter toward women or anything. i had a reasonably normal and happy childhood until pop ran off with carlos, the mister softie ice cream truck driver. the kids at school found out about that, and so i had to run away. thought i'd find some wolves to raise me like in that movie, but i just ended up getting mauled by a rottweiler. i whacked its head with a rock before it could kill me altogether, and then i dragged it down by the train tracks, which is where i met hobo tommy wang. tommy showed me how to build a fire, and he had some irish rose, and we sat there by the tracks and got drunk and ate some dog. and now look what's happened.
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J
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