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"You bring me down
so far down,
To the pits of hell
only cold
no feeling at all.
Pushing pins into my soul
i want you,
but no i cant have you.
There's a wall
to tall
that seperates us.
Its made of things to big to escape.
Want you from this far off place.
What's for me to do?
Waiting i can not possibly do.
Who do you think you are,
playing this game of tug-of-war with my heart.
In wars lives are lost never to be retrived again,
In this war only one casualty
can you guess who that would be?
When love's the game you don't hesitate to make a fool of what we have made.
But then again did you ever care?
Sometimes i wonder because your never there.

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The following comments are for "You"
by krazeekookie

a gem that needs polishing
It seems a little rough round the edges, but there's a very nice poem in there. It was the spelling mistakes and other little inconsistencies that pulled it down, but with a bit of careful polishing it'll sparkle.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: December 20, 2002 )

really i think poetry is hardest to rate, because it's someones emotions we're talking about. the only reason i gave you a 6 is because i do agree it was a little rough. the emotion is there though, and you can work with it :) just keep writing. take care, xo.

( Posted by: Veruca Salt [Member] On: December 20, 2002 )

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