Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

On a brisk spring morning, around the hour of 6:00AM, Mo the porcupine woke up and decided it was time to start taking his morning walks once again. The winter snow had lasted very long and he missed his walks. Spring was now in the air and he felt happy again. He loved to look at all the beautiful trees in bloom, the green grass, and the multitude of colorful flowers swaying in the gentle spring breeze.

He loved to listen to the birds singing, and all the other sounds of nature. This time he would take a different path and he started off. He always went alone; sadly everyone else was too busy with their own families to bother with him. As he made a turn in the path, something caught his eye. There it was: the loveliest creature in the world.

He slowly approached, not wanting to scare it. The coloring of her quills was a beautiful brown and every strand was straight and smooth. The long brown tail had only enticed the young porcupine to make his way closer and closer.

He got up the courage to speak to her and told her about all the magnificient things he had seen on his walk. She didnít say a word. She didnít make fun of him. She just sat there, not moving, and listening to the stories he told her. He couldnít wait for the next day when he would see her again and tell his stories to her.

Would she be there? Or would she be gone; too busy to listen to him, like all the rest?

As he made the turn, there she was sitting in the corner on the back porch of the big white house. She was there faithfully everyday. He spent all his time with her; happy for her quiet acceptance for him. Little did Mo the porcupine know he had fallen head over heels in love with a broom.


------
"God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December."
-J. M. Barrie



Comments

The following comments are for "The Love of a Porcupine"
by JStewart

Childrens' stories
I have been told recently by a few people that with my style of writing, I ought to try my hand at childrens' fiction; so I am browsing through this category to see if I may be half-decent at it. You have a lot of talent in this area! The only suggestion that I would have is to replace some of the words you used like "multitude" and "acceptance" with "many" and "love". A few of those words may be 'ahead' of the age level the story is directed to.

Of course, a thought just dawned on me that perhaps the category of "Childrens' writing" is referring perhaps to writing that children have submitted. In that case, disregard my comment. LOL

Otherwise a very good story!

( Posted by: saoboy [Member] On: January 24, 2007 )

The story...
For younger kids thats great! And if you are a kid your self (like me), as the category may suggest then i think you are a talented writer in the younger kids category imthink small chidren would love this!

( Posted by: DoubleTake [Member] On: April 12, 2007 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: