While opening my presents on Christmas Eve...I noticed a familiar round tin.
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"Oh No! Not another fruitcake from Great Aunt Fran!!"
"Didn't I send one back to her last year?"
"If that's the same one...It must be hard as a rock."
To test out my theory, I tried out my toughest knife.
"Look what that fruitcake did to my good knife...Bent the bugger all to heck!" "We would need a chain saw to cut that one."
"OH, SHE'S SO GETTING THIS BACK NEXT YEAR!!!"
"When is this game gonna end?" "I guess if the old broad kicks the bucket before next Christmas...I'll take it to her funeral and stick it in the casket so she can take it with her."
"I don't even think they'll eat it where she's going..The old Bat Wing!"
The only good thing fruit cakes are good for is building bricks
Makes the safest houses...even the animals won't eat em...A wrecking ball can't budge em...and they are earthquake proof.
PS...Once along time ago I did have a good piece of fruit cake...My Aunt Carol made it...She poured rum over it for seven days straight...Now, Dat Wazz Da Bess Fru Take Eber...